Wednesday, November 20, 2013

I'm Moving!

If you're thinking that we're selling the house and leaving, that's not it at all.

I've migrated my website to a new hosting company where my blog can be integrated into the site itself.

So my new blog address is:

I hope you join me in my new home. It feels good to do a little house-cleaning, pare down the site so there isn't an overload of information and have everything all in one place.

And while you're there you can sign up for my occasional newsletter and receive a wonderful audio download meditation as a gift from me.

With love and kindness

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Healing the Wounded Child

There lies within each one of us remnants of our past, a child, one whose experiences affect our lives today.  When we suffer or struggle it is because that small child within us is hurt, wounded, feeling pain from long ago that has never been fully healed.

As adults we try to rationalize it as we push away the fear, guilt, anger and hurt. We talk ourselves out of our pain and leave it deep within, unfelt, unacknowledged and unhealed. In doing so we perpetuate a life of suffering and not good enough and each current day experience is affected by what lies locked inside.

So how do we heal this wounded inner child? Here are some effective ways to create wholeness and reconnect with your true self:

  1. Nurture the inner child – Allow yourself to be the kind of parent you’ve longed for to your wounded child. In silence, tune in to what the child wants, needs and desires. Feel the hurt and let the child release the feelings that are causing suffering. 
  2.  Communicate with yourself as a child – Have conversations either through writing or silently with your inner child to find out what the fear, hurt or anger is about. Ask questions, listen to the answers. It’s amazing how that child can so clearly emerge when given a chance.
  3. Create a safe place – Don’t judge or criticize your wounded child for feeling as they do. Have compassion, acceptance and unconditional love. This is where healing begins.
  4. Love yourself fully – Look into a mirror, looking deeply into your eyes, seeing the eyes of yourself as a child. Feel the love for that child and declare it without hesitation. If you feel awkward at first, then feel the awkwardness. In time and with practice this will become easier and you will begin to really feel the love that you’ve always desired.
  5. Find your passion – Ask your inner child what he or she wants and needs to feed your soul. What makes them happy, feel fulfilled, loved, passionate, inspired. Really get to know what fires you up.
  6. Forgive – Have your inner child identify those that he or she is still angry with and then forgive these people. Forgiveness can free you from guilt, fear, anger and hurt and allow you to start fresh without relying on your past to define your current experiences.
  7. Show up for yourself – If your inner child felt unloved, love them, if they felt disrespect, respect them and if they didn’t feel good enough, accept them fully as they are. It’s amazing how many people think that they do all these things but when looking deeper find out they really carry self-hatred, disrespect and self-doubt. Show up for that child.

If you were to treat your children in the same way that you treat yourself when you're unhappy, you would probably be accused of abuse. Set a good example by being loving and compassionate to your inner child and by being their biggest fan. Don’t let the past rule your present.

Give yourself a chance at an amazing life in the present by releasing the pain of your past. It’s the most effective way to find love, peace and happiness here and now.

With love and kindness

To find out more about how to heal your inner child find your way over to The Soul Connection

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Getting Unplugged – being more productive in less time

Every day after breakfast I trundle off down the stairs to my computer to “check my mail”. I go with the rationale that, “I have to check to see if any clients have emailed me, if new clients are requesting to book sessions or to get on Facebook to promote my business.” It all seemed quite on the up and up until something happened the other day that really made take a good hard look at this little charade I was creating for myself and how easily I fell for it.

Because when I looked around my house and realized that I never seem to get as much done as I believe I should get done and questioned myself as to why I never seem to have enough time in a day to the many things I have to do, I realized just how much time I have wasted, puttering away at my computer, doing things that are nowhere near work related. Aha! The jig is up.

Lately, I’ve been lamenting about how I used to have so much more time to clean the house, get groceries, do the laundry, bake, cook and sew, not to mention crafting, reading, and a myriad of other things that seemed to have gotten lost along the way.

I questioned myself and looked really hard at what had changed and realized that when the internet came in, the time went out the window. It was very clear that for someone like me who is relatively introverted, the internet was a world I could deal with and that this virtual world felt safer than venturing out into the physical world and interact with real people.

I miss the days gone by when my computer wasn’t calling my name every morning…and afternoon…and night. How did I get so caught up in this web of illusion I had created, the addiction that drew me into the ever enticing desire to check email, Facebook, blogs and such just one more time to see if there was anything new? And oddly enough, I probably fall into the category of average when it comes to this.

I have a cousin who, few months ago logged off Facebook for the last time as she embarked on a year of drama free living. I envied her the luxury of getting unplugged, of leaving the electronic world behind to get back to bare bones living. And I’ve been thinking about it myself ever since.

The other day on the radio they were discussing a recent survey that had been taken, asking the question, “What is the one thing you could never live without” and astonishingly the number one answer was, “a good internet connection”. Even more incredulous was that family and friends came ninth on the list. That’s a real eye-opener!

I think the final straw was when I realized that I was not getting what I was looking for in this ever increasing activity of being connected. I wasn’t “connected” at all – in fact I had disconnected from my own sense of empowerment, well-being and productivity. I don’t want text message communication with people if I can have a real conversation with them.

I’ve decided it’s time to stand back and really look at how I use my time, how much I waste and how it eats away at my self-worth at the end of the day.

So here’s what I’m going to do to reclaim my time:

  1. Set two time periods during the day to check my email, Facebook and any other internet related things.
  2.  Set a time limit on my internet time.
  3. Do my writing by hand in a book instead of writing in Word on my computer
  4. Watch and listen closely for times when the Ego wants to pull me from the present to a perceived reward somewhere other than in my current activity
  5.  Stop procrastinating about getting things done because of fear, disappointment, anxiety, anger or guilt.
  6.  Take care of the above-mentioned emotions so I can get on with life.
  7. Spend more time in silence and quiet – no TV, radio or computer.
  8. Start getting back to doing things unplugged like reading, crafts and getting outside

 Already today, I have accomplished more than I have in a while in this one day. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not about being hard on yourself and creating all sorts of should, only to beat yourself up when you don’t complete the tasks. It’s about recognizing how you sabotage yourself and get into that position in the first place.

I’m going to spend a lot more time unplugged from now on. How about you? Try it just for a day and see how it goes. And feel free to write me and share your experience here.

With love and kindness

Bettina - Unplugged

If you'd like to learn more about how you can be more connected to your inner power, wisdom and peace go to: The Soul Connection