The Soul Connection

Valentine’s Day – Not just for couples

2012-02-08T12:04:00.001-05:00

I often hear people complaining about Valentine’s Day and not just single people do this. People who are in relationships complain that it is a commercialized holiday that tells you how you should feel and what you should do to express that feeling for your significant other.

Single people complain that it is a holiday just for couples and it brings into magnified focus just how alone they are.

I’ve been on both sides of this situation and I learned a lot from my perspective of them. First, when I was single and miserable – I hated Valentine’s Day, then I was married and miserable and I hated Valentine’s Day. Soon enough I was single again and learning to connect with my own love and I started to like Valentine’s Day again.

Now I am in a beautiful and loving relationship with someone I adore and with whom I share a deep and lasting love, respect and friendship. And I love Valentine’s Day.

And contrary to what some people might be thinking now such as, “Oh well, she’s in a relationship, of course she love Valentine’s Day”, it’s not the reason.

I learned to love this holiday long before Peter came into my life. In fact, it was quite a while before he appeared on the scene.

It took a while, but one year I realized that the holiday of love wasn’t just for couples. It was the perfect reminder and opportunity to open my heart to my own love. To allow myself to nurture and nudge my heart, to allow it to open to all the love that the world had to offer me starting with my own source of that love.

And when that happened I realized that I could take that opening every year on February 14, to remember to connect with my own love and express my love for the people in my life who meant so much to me.

That’s when it changed. That’s when I really understood what love was about, and that commercialized or not the holiday could have a meaning for me in my own way and be a reminder of just how much love I could unconditionally give and in turn feel with the people in my life that matter.

So whether you’re single or in a relationship, whether you feel loved or very much alone, why not use this Valentine’s Day to look inside your heart, loosen the constraints and open it up to the world. Start with a smile – look in the mirror and smile at yourself. Then write yourself a love letter – who better can tell you the things you want to hear than you! You deserve all the love that our limitless Source has available so go for it.

Sending you all lots of love on Valentine’s Day and every day…

With love and kindness

Bettina

For more information about one-on-one coaching and Reiki sessions, group coaching, workshops and meditation classes go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

Being Authentic – A Refreshing Change from Lip Service

2012-01-26T10:56:00.000-05:00

People frequently talk about living an authentic life but I think that few know what that actually means. And there are others who truly believe that they are living authentically.

But when we take a deeper look at how we react to certain situations and the feelings that are behind them we might see that we are not as authentic as we think.

“Get real!” means being honest with yourself, seeing where you say “yes” when you are really feeling, “no”, talking with someone about their negative attitude towards you instead of shoving inside and trying to ignore the feelings of hurt and anger.

I’m not saying you should yell and scream and get your anger out on someone else, nor am I saying walk or run away from the situation.

Acknowledging your anger is authentic, recognizing your fear is authentic, letting someone know you are not feeling great and can’t discuss something at that moment in time is authentic.

Living from your peaceful, loving heart is authentic. You can feel angry and still react from your loving heart. It takes practice though.

Start off by just being aware of when you don’t feel comfortable with a person or situation. When you have some quiet time alone examine those feelings and try to discern where they are originating – usually from a strong belief about yourself or the world around you. Ask yourself if this belief still holds value for you and if you are able to be more open to other beliefs to at least examine them for a better fit.

Doing this has so many benefits. You start to be more aware of how you behave and what you say to people. You begin to feel better about yourself when you drop beliefs that are no longer valid in your life. You let go of stress you may have been carrying around and you let go of the need to control. Not to mention respecting yourself and others more and having deeper relationships with the people in your life.

Next time someone asks you to do something for them, ask them if you can get back to them later with the answer. Then sit with it for a while as you examine how you feel about doing, do you have time for it, and if you do it will you feel resentful afterwards. Usually we feel resentment when we do something with the expectation of a “return” on our investment. When it doesn’t come, the resentment begins to build. So if you are doing it to get something out of it, maybe “no” is the answer to give. But if you are doing it because you genuinely want to help someone unconditionally, then give it a “yes!”

Begin with little steps in becoming more authentic in your life and you will reap the rewards of taking the time to listen to yourself first.

With love and kindness

Bettina

For more information about Reiki, one-on-one coaching, workshops and medition groups please go to http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

The Greatest of These Is Love

2012-01-17T10:49:00.000-05:00

I’m not a big bible reader but my Catholic education has left me with a few memories of bits of scripture that have stood out and still have deep meaning for me still today.

From 1 Corinthians 13:13, “For there are these three things that endure: Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love”.

This is what we are all looking for; this is the mainstay of our true feelings of peace and contentment, of happiness and joy in our lives. This is the deepest of the deep emotions that has no beginning and no end. It comes from the source of all, from God, the Universe, a Higher Power and it trickles down into every one of us all the time.

If we are not feeling this love within ourselves, or with others in our lives, it is not their fault. It is not what they are doing or not doing, what you are receiving or not receiving. It is about our ability to heal the pain and move through it so that we can create a space and the vision to see and feel this love.

There is no greater love than that which we feel from the root of our being; the love that comes from the Source of who we are, a spark, a light, a fraction of the pure essence of God, experiencing life as it is lived from all different aspects.

When we know this, understand this and feel this in every fiber of our being – that is truly being “in love”. It is the most authentic love, the truest and purest love that is.

And we can all “find” this love. It is not farther away than your heart. Open your heart, feel it expand and take in all the glorious experiences of life, allow it to accept others just as they are, to love those even when they cannot love themselves and to live it every day.

Take a few minutes each day to check in. Is your heart open and do you feel the tenderness of that deep love within? Is it constricted and does it feel hard? Take a deep breath and envision a beautiful vibrant green light, a ball of energy growing in the middle of your chest. Feel the warmth of it, the softness of it, the healing, the kindness as your heart expands.

Take this feeling into the world and feel how different your day will be when you live from your heart. Then you will understand that the greatest love of all is always within your reach.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Get $10 off a Reiki or one-on-one coaching session from now until February 29, 2012. To find out more about one-on-one-coaching, Reiki treatments and workshops at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Letting Go of the Old and Welcoming in the New

2011-12-30T16:19:00.000-05:00

Each year just before New Year’s Day I like to look back at the year that has just passed and reflect on what it has meant to me. I look at the intentions I set out last year at this time and check to see how many of them I followed through on and what has actually come to pass.

I look at experiences that I’ve had and the lessons that they have brought to me. I look at who I was and who I am today, hopefully a better version of myself than I was last year.

It’s a lovely little ritual that I’ve been doing for some time now and I really enjoy the quiet time reviewing all of it and allowing myself to see that, although there are some days when I feel I have gone backwards in my personal growth, I actually have come a long way over the course of a year. Looking at how my belief system has changed and my thought patterns have adjusted according to the new beliefs I have instilled in myself.

It’s also a good time to look at relationships. How have they grown, either closer or farther apart. To look at how they have changed, how the people in my life have helped me on my soul’s journey and the ways in which I have learned to overcome the history, the pain and the way the relationship used to be in the past to become more loving, compassionate and present in it now.

In looking back, sometimes there is unfinished business, an experience that has stayed with me, something I haven’t quite been able to let go of. In these cases I try to let go of the old pain, forgive the other person and myself and ready myself for a shift in how I interact with that person.

Starting the year with fresh intentions, a new perspective and an open loving heart is most important to me. It allows me to welcome all the new opportunities that life has to offer in the coming year. I hope that you find it to be beneficial and important to you too. It can make the difference between suffering through another year and experiencing great new possibilities, a love you never thought you’d ever feel, and a world that feels comfortable, safe in which you feel content and even excited about what will happen next.

Wishing you all a year of peace, love and understanding, of joy, abundance and contentment. May you feel loved and love unconditionally and dance through life in your best shoes because you deserve it!

With love and kindness

Bettina

Find out more about one-on-one-coaching, Reiki, workshops and card readings at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Merry Christmas – Replacing Political Correctness with Love

2011-12-19T11:44:00.003-05:00

In recent years the whole idea of being politically correct has taken the forefront of the news and of life in general. And while living life from a kind and loving place is most important to me and many other people, I think it should be something that is genuine and authentic.

Political correctness has become the norm because for some reason we need to be told how to treat others. We can’t seem to love and respect, honour and accept someone else’s lifestyle, race, colour, religion or tradition.

Christmas used to be so much more attached to the birth of Jesus, making it a religious holiday. But in my eyes, I feel that Christmas is more about the spirit of who Jesus was and how he lived his life which is really no different than how Buddha lived his life, or Moses etc. The unconditional love and kindness, the acceptance, the compassion and the feeling of connection that these prophets bestowed upon the people are a great lesson for the rest of us.

My point here is that it doesn’t matter whether you celebrate Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or any other holiday, it’s the spirit with which you celebrate. How you celebrate life in general. The joy, peace, love and understanding that makes you feel content with life and with others.

So this holiday season, why not use the greeting that is closest to your heart and give them the space to greet you back in their own way. Accept each other and our ways of celebrating the love, peace, joy and our connection to source at this time of year.

Remember this feeling throughout the season and carry it with you into the new year. Be conscious of your acceptance but also of your intolerance, your love as well as your hate, your peace as well as your suffering, your compassion as well as your criticism. And love each of those as a part of who you are, allowing yourself to change whatever doesn’t fit, to expand your heart and each day be more and more connected to source.

Merry Christmas to all of you – may the joy, peace, love and spirit of source be ever present and alive in you at this wondrous time of year and through the year to come.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Find out more about one-on-one-coaching, Reiki, workshops and card readings at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Creating a Safe Space

2011-12-08T19:25:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the people in our lives find themselves feeling unhappy, discontented, and stressed. We want to be able to help the people we love but we don’t always know what the right thing to do is.

We don’t always know the right thing to say or do and we often impart upon the other person our sage advice as to how to handle their current situation and make it better. We can even side with them when they are angry with someone else. We often feel a desire to want to fix it for the other person.

No one can “fix” it for anyone else. The only person who can change the way they feel about a certain situation is the person themselves.

The best thing we can do for another person when they are struggling with life is to create a safe and sacred space where they can express themselves without fear of recrimination, judgment or criticism.

What does creating a safe space mean exactly?

It means that we stay centred and balanced, connected to our own divine love so that the other person can be and say whatever they need to at this point in time. We can be supportive without enabling, compassionate without joining them in criticizing someone else and loving without contributing to their unhealthy thinking. When the walls of their life are crashing down around them we can hold them up while they figure out what to do about it.

Allowing someone to figure it out for themselves is the best way for them to find the perfect answer to their problem, looking to themselves as the source of the solution.

Let them go and trust that they will find their own way supported by your love and positive energy. Continue to hold that space of positive energy for them as they walk and fall, walk and fall and finally come out on the other side feeling more positive and connected themselves.

Even if it is your children that are struggling, be there for them as they find their own way to the lighter side of life.

Trust, love, stay centred, let go and listen with love. That is all.

With love and kindness

Bettina

For more information about one-on-one coaching, Reiki, card reading and workshops go to: www.thesoulconnection.ca

The Greatest Love of All

2011-11-15T12:35:00.001-05:00

Recently, Carrie Klassen, a woman I admire greatly met a challenge to write a love letter to herself and publish it. Then she challenged everyone who read it to also do the same. I decided to meet the challenge for two reasons.

As a life coach I am always asking clients to write a love letter to themselves to connect with self-love and yet, I can't remember ever doing so myself. So reason number 1 - to practice what I teach. As a human being, with pain and ego and everything else that comes with being human, I needed to put it out there that I love who I am - reason number 2. It's not easy but it is one of the best exercises you can do.

So what follows is my love letter to myself. If you want to read Carrie's love letter you can here. And if you are up for the challenge you can post your love letter to yourself in the comments section below. I hope you do.

Dear Bettina,

I love the way you sing whenever you think you’re alone – as if you were on stage at the ACC.

I love how passionate you get about all your creative outlets, especially the sweetness that comes from making things with love. I love that you are so giving and loving when you share the things you make with others.

I love your big fat Italian hair, that looks ten times bigger when it dries on it’s own than when you straighten and tame it to a sleek finish. I love looking into those deep brown eyes and seeing your compassion, love, kindness and sensitivity to other’s pain.

I love that you still believe in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and angels. I love listening to you when you go out into the garden on a sunny summer day and talk to the fairies.

I love how comfortable it is to be around you, how people always notice this and are attracted to your peaceful energy. How your voice can lull people into that same peace as you speak to them.

I love your laugh and how you use it often and at the silliest things, letting your inner child come out and play as often as possible.

I love how easy it is for you to just be who you are and know that it’s okay. I love how you listen with your heart and not your head.

I love your funny Roman nose and how it wrinkles when you smile that smile that says you know a thousand jokes that you are just dying to tell.

I love that you can’t pass a hat shop without going in and trying on every hat in the store, or that a toy shop fills you with joy.

I love how you find it so easy to just pick up and do something you’ve never done before without a thought that you might not be able to do it.

I love that you feel just as comfortable in a beautiful gown or dress as you do in a pair of painter pants with a brush in your hand.

I love that you can be a tomboy one minute and a girlie girl the next and how that helps you to fit in with whoever you are with.

I love your sense of adventure, the way you read Italian just because you love how it sounds and feels on your tongue even if you don’t know what it means.

I like that you have an Anne of Green Gables paper doll set hidden in your bedroom nightstand and you occasionally pull it out and play with it when no one is around.

I like that you cringe at the thought of watching a violent movie and are incensed when you hear of anyone being hurt, harmed or bullied.

I love that your heart is big and your judgment small. That your love is given full on, without boundaries, no matter what and how that makes me want to love you even more.

I love you so much it aches sometimes because I think you don’t really know deep down how loveable you are.

But never forget dear soul, that I love you deeply, truly and always.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Happy, Healthy Kids

2011-10-24T10:11:00.000-04:00

Happy, Healthy Kids Come from Happy Healthy Parents

A parent’s biggest desire is for their children to be happy, healthy and well-adjusted. They spend their lives working hard to make it a reality. They only want what’s best for their children and all their decisions about them are based on this fact.

Children are very intuitive and perceptive and they can sense the truth in any situation. They can see past the smiling and assurances that things are fine and know when there is something amiss or not quite right. They feel your tension when you are stressed and will pick up on it, perhaps even taking the stress on themselves. And they won’t know how to deal with it unless you show them.

Being a healthy, happy, well-adjusted parent is the best way to raise healthy, happy, well-adjusted children. Parents are a child’s first and most important role model and the best method of teaching them how to be in life is by example.

Here are five ways to raise happy, healthy children:

Give your children a voice. Let them express how they feel without judgment so they can learn to address their issues in a healthy way and know that what they have to say is of value.
Be aware of how you interact with your partner (or ex-partner). Have compassion, clarity and be open to hear what they have to say so that conflict can be resolved in a healthy way. Your children will learn how to function in a relationship when the time comes.
Allow them to make choices when it comes to which activities they want to be involved in or how they want to handle different situations in their lives. When a child is allowed to make their own choice and take the consequences good or bad, it develops their sense of responsibility and they make healthier choices. When you make choices for them it can cause resentment.
Inspire your children before the fact rather than punish them afterwards. Show them the way by taking care of your own stresses and issues in a healthy way. Support them in what they do and let them do it themselves. This can build their self-worth far more effectively than any words you could say.
Create a safe place for your children to be all that they are without judgment or criticism. Let them know that they don’t have to be afraid to share anything with you because they will not be judged. Have compassion, understanding and kindness.

If a parent takes care of themselves in mind, body and spirit, their children will see this and realize it is worthwhile to do so for themselves. Lead by example.

Happy Parenting!

With love and kindness

Bettina

Nurturing the Child Within

2011-10-17T13:39:00.001-04:00

I recently got a new cell phone. Now for most people I’m sure this isn’t really a big event, but for me it was quite exciting. The last phone I had pretty much just made phone calls, so to get this new Android phone which could do just about everything was fascinating to me.

One of the apps I downloaded was a book reader. The first books I found online, for free, were the Anne of Green Gables books. Wow! A blast from the past! They were my very favourite books when I was a child. I remember spending hours reading them over and over again, the whole series, losing myself in the exciting (to me) world of Anne Shirley living on Prince Edward Island.

Without hesitation I downloaded every book in the series and I started reading…and reading…and reading some more. And once again, I found myself transported to that wonderful story in a place that I had by now visited twice. I was lost in the charm of Green Gables, remembering my own childhood and missing, in part many aspects of that childhood.

And so I asked myself, “Why do we so easily let go of our childlike qualities?” You know, the ones that keep us young, fresh, looking at everything with new eyes filled with wonder.

Can you remember when you were a child? Lazy days lying in the grass watching the clouds, naming all the different animals and shapes you could floating above you? Or skipping rope to tunes that promised to reveal the name of your future beloved? How about going to the park and playing softball with your pals, changing the rules as you went along? Or climbing a tree? There was probably never a time in your life when you felt so happy and carefree.

That playful child is still present within us. And while we’ve had to grow up and be responsible, there’s no reason why we should have to let go of that child. We can remember the things that made out hearts sing, feel the excitement of a Christmas morning, the joy of swinging as high as you could go on a swing in the park, the fullness that comes with a huge hug from mom or dad or someone else close to you.

Nurture the child within. Let yourself play, have fun, enjoy! Just because you are responsible doesn’t mean you can’t still look at life with childlike wonder.

I think there is a huge part of me that has held on to the childlike qualities of my youth. I love the opportunity to play with kids when they are around, to jump over the creek if it’s there in front of me, to watch the clouds take the shape of an elephant or a bird, to feel the joy of just being alive in each day.

Go! Have some fun. Do something you haven’t done since you were a kid. You’ll be glad you did.

Now, I really must go and see how my dollhouse is coming along…

With loving kindness

Bettina Goodwin

Guest Blogger

2011-10-03T15:09:00.000-04:00

This is the first time I've had a guest blogger, but I was so moved by this story that it gently nudged me into having one this week.
Carrie Klassen is woman with a huge heart, a real soul connection, someone who can put pen to paper and create not only a story but draw you in and let you feel exactly what it's like to have experienced whatever it is she is describing. This story is one of those. I hope you are as inspired as I was when I read it.

Be admirable.

by Carrie Klassen

Coming out of the grocery store this afternoon, I merged onto the sidewalk behind a really attractive couple. Hurrying to get my frozen blueberries home, I passed them but when I heard a man raise his voice, I turned around to see him angrily yank her arm, trying to hold her in place. She pulled it free and moved to get around him, but he gripped her shoulders so she couldn’t pass. I started walking towards them, having no idea what I would do, and wishing – just for those moments – that I were a man. Someone with height and breadth and physical strength that a 102lb, 5’3” woman just doesn’t have. But in only the time it took me to imagine what I’d look like 6’4” and male, they were holding hands again. I tried to catch her eye so I could ask if she were okay, but we didn’t connect. I let them pass and then followed behind them. Watching. Readying my phone should I need to make a call.

I could hear him apologizing (where moments before, he’d been demanding her apology) and she leaned into him on their walk. She wasn’t in danger, but she wasn’t in a good place. I did my best to send her a telepathic message: “You deserve better than this.”

In the pre-Keith years, I made some very poor choices in my relationships that I generally keep to myself. One man punched me in the face. I refused to see him again but that I got myself in a situation like that should have been a warning sign. I’ve had my arm yanked in public, as hers was (and was mortified when friends saw and made efforts to assure them it was nothing). I’ve been pushed and shoved. I’ve been cornered. I’ve been spit on. Heading up Parliament Street, little scenes over so many years came to me at once. An ugly constellation. And a pattern I was too close to at the time to see.

I didn’t even realize I’d been in unsafe places (and by "unsafe", I mean that state where you never get to fully exhale.. where a part of you is always wondering will he leave/will he be drunk/will he get angry?/etc) until years later. Until I saw what Unsafe looked like from the ease and comfort and joy of Safe. Until, in some ways, this afternoon, seeing a small part of my old story in someone else's plot.

And so, this is a note to all of my women friends, asking them to take care of themselves and to keep their standards high. To know that it’s okay to change their minds. To lose their tolerance for disappointment and disrespect. To take good stock.

Thanks to Keith, I’ve come to understand what it really is to be a woman loved.

Women, it’s not being intimidated or bullied or treated with indifference. It’s not control masquerading as desire. It doesn’t make you cry in the shower so no one knows. It doesn’t require you to make excuses for him.

And men, the good men in my circle of friends, look at the women around you and do what you can to remind them of their God-given worthiness. This can be a hard world for women and you never know what's being said to them behind closed doors (and repeated in their own minds). Be good to your mothers. Treat your relationships as holy and let us see that. Let other men see that. Speak kindly of your partner when she’s not there. Be gracious with your physical strength.

Above all, be admirable.

I admire my husband with such fullness of heart that it's like love, doubled. Now that I know it's possible, I want everyone to feel like this. Especially my friends. xoxo

Carrie is also the amazing creator of Pink Elephant Communications. I have been lucky enough to have her assist me with making improvements to my website and it was a great experience well worth every moment she shared with me. So for any of you entrepreneurs out there, I highly recommend you check out her website here!

And please be sure to check out my website for information about coaching, meditation and Reiki, workshops and coming soon helpful products to make your life all that you desire it to be. The Soul Connection.

No Pain - No Gain

2011-09-05T12:15:00.000-04:00

The path toward enlightenment seems, when looking forward, to be something wonderful, peaceful and at times even blissful. We usually end up on this road when our lives have become unmanageable, unhappy, stressful. Our relationship disintegrates, we lose our job or business, our children have become unruly and we can’t seem to get control of anything.

We find ourselves thinking, “There has to be a better way.” And the reason we think this is because we don’t want to feel the pain and suffering that our current life is serving up.

We find this idealic situation, a new way to understand life, to find our happy place and live there day in and day out. We work hard at it and we push aside any ideas or beliefs of suffering, unhappiness, depression, guilt, shame, and anger.

Eventually though, we find that things are not as happy and peaceful as we thought they would be. It is hard to keep all those “negative” emotions out of the mix. Day to day life unfolds and so do the many emotions that it can bring up.

And in the very direction we thought we’d find the answer to the perfect life, we still feel struggle. We throw up our hands in disgust and wonder why it isn’t working.

It isn’t working because we are not being honest with ourselves. We are pretending that life is a joyful, peaceful, wonderful journey but we don’t’ really believe it. We are still hurting and the effort it takes to keep that hurt from rising up and, we think, destroying us is exhausting.

Here’s the thing – it’s not about being happy, peaceful and loving ALL the time. Yes, we want to get to the place in our lives when we can feel all of these wonderful emotions. But if we don’t move aside all the nastiness to allow the space to connect with these amazing feelings of bliss, it’s just not going to be authentic.

Authenticity is where it’s at and you don’t get there without feeling some pain. It’s as simple as that. If you want to feel truthfully joyful, content and loving, then, instead of pushing away the fear, hate, anger, guilt and shame, you’ve got to feel it, let it wash over you like a cleansing wave – go with the flow, allow yourself to be fully present with every emotion, the pain as well as the love.

The fear is that if we allow this to happen we will be crushed, annihilated, destroyed. But what really happens is that, like the world after a huge storm, there is a quality of freshness, a clarity that you’ve not known in a long time. And from this place comes your authentic, loving, peaceful self – accepting, compassionate and calm.

Ahhhh, that feels better.

With loving and kindness

Bettina

Join us at one of our workshops in the next few months. Find out more and register at: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

On the Sunny Side of the Street

2011-08-14T20:32:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, when we are on this journey of the evolvement of our soul, we tend to take things a little too seriously and because of this we tend to judge ourselves when we act or speak in a less than loving way.

Because of this being on a spiritual path can sometimes get quite heavy, as if we never left our old ways behind. So how to we continue to do our work and not be too serious about it all?

What if you were walking down the street and the side of the street you were on was shaded, cold and dark? And you looked across the street and saw that the sun was shining brightly, telling you it was, no doubt, much warmer and of course lighter over there. Wouldn’t you cross the street to get warm?

You can do this in your every day life but not taking yourself too seriously. If you can have a joke or play once in a while, even the spiritual life can seem unhappy. And let’s face it, the reason you started this little excursion was probably because you wanted to be happier in your life.

So if, for example, you say something to someone that you later think about and decide was not very nice, instead of being pulled in by the ego’s chastisement, give yourself a break, have a little compassion and a laugh and move on. It’s really not the end of the world.

Just because you consider yourself to now be a “spiritual” person, doesn’t mean to you have to kill off your sense of humour. Yes, it may change, the jokes may be different, but you’re still allowed to have a little fun.

Don’t worry so much about walking the straight and narrow. Just be in your loving space and nothing else will really matter.

“Two guys walked into a bar and the third one ducked…” J

See you on the sunny side of the street!

With love and kindness (and a laugh or two…)

Bettina

For more information about coaching, reiki, meditation and workshops go to: http://www.thesoulconneciton.ca

Living Life Through the Eyes of Love

2011-08-07T12:18:00.000-04:00

Our day to day life is usually lived through our ego, the very thing that knows the least about how to live life. And although it may seem surprising that the ego knows very little, if you take a look at the kinds of things it tells you to do, you will most definitely see this is true.

For instance, it is the ego (or mind) that tells us to react to someone else’s anger with our own anger which very rarely resolves the conflict. And even after doing this, it is the very same ego that tells you that you’re not a good person for taking your anger out on someone else. Then within seconds, it will tell you that you had every right to tear a strip of that guy, cause after all, he was a jerk.

You can see that mostly what the ego does is runs us around in circles. And the funny thing is that we follow it!

But it is the moments in which we drop into our heart centre that we have the clearest vision of what to do or say. It is the heart that tells us what is the most sensible thing to do.

It is the heart that tells us to respond to another person’s anger with softness and grace. To put ourselves in their place and have compassion for their struggle, recognizing that it is their ego that is leading them to anger.

When we are centered in our heart we take our time to act and speak in a way that reveals our true nature – that of a loving, gentle, caring being.

Living through the eyes of love can bring us out of our struggle with life and into the ebb and flow that is being. Present, peaceful, positive.

Let love guide you in your daily life and see how it sends ripples out into the world, person by person.

With loving kindness

Bettina

For more information about one-on-one coaching, workshops and meditation classes please go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

Be the Change You Want to See in the World

2011-07-30T14:53:00.000-04:00

These amazing words are attributed to Ghandi, a man who knew inner peace in spite of how his people were treated. His protests over their treatment were always peaceful and passive. He believed in turning the other cheek.

This peacefulness worked like a charm to help change India for the better. British authorities were so baffled by Ghandi’s peaceful nature that they had no idea how to fight him.

It’s such a great example of his words. Be the change you want to see in the world.

You can’t change anyone else. You can only change your reaction to others, your beliefs about yourself and the world around you.

How often do you find yourself saying, “If only my wife (husband, children, boss, parents or whoever) would change life would be so much better for me.” It’s a very common syndrome – change others to find peace and happiness.

When you find yourself wishing someone else would change, think about what it is you think you’ll get if they do change. Happiness? Peace? Love? Relief from guilt? Contentment? Success?

How many times have you wished someone would change so you’d be happier and then when they do, you realize you aren’t happier at all?

Is it all coming together now? Are you getting that happiness doesn’t come from someone else?

That’s right. We are responsible for connecting to our own happiness, peace, love, success, security, contentment. We are born knowing these feelings. Somewhere along the line life teaches us to forget that innate connection.

It’s up to us to remember who we are, to reconnect to the joy, love, peace, passion. wisdom, success, security, compassion and vision that is our birthright.

Next time you find yourself wishing someone else would change, ask yourself what feeing you’re looking for and then look inside to see what you can change to connect to it.

It’s like looking in a mirror – what you see in the world is what you’re feeling inside.

And if you want the world to change, make the changes you want to see.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Join us for a great girl's night out! The Inner and Outer Beauty Connection - a workshop for women. We'll talk about inner beauty and how it affects our ability to see ourselves as beautiful on the outside. And we're going to be doing facials with fabulous Arbonne products. Even more exciting - you'll be going home with a goody bag. Register before Aug. 1 and save $5 and get a free gift. http://www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2011-07-06T16:17:00.000-04:00

After listening to a young teenager speak at a meeting last night about his choice to live a conscious life, I was blessed with a fresh and welcome perspective on what kids want in life. They want to feel they are trusted enough to make their own healthy, responsible decisions, to be heard when they want to share their perspective and to feel they are valued.

I wonder how many times my children wanted to question something I asked them to do and I dismissed them with, “Because I said so!” Or how many other parents do this very same thing.

As parents we are supposed to be “the authority” on life, having lived it for quite some time before our children arrived on the scene. And we love our children so much we want the best for them, to see them happy, successful and healthy.

But we don’t always consider that things that make us feel happy, healthy and successful are not necessarily the things that will make our children feel it. And our “loving gesture” of maybe a little to forcefully guiding them, may be the very thing that is pushing them away.

Wayne Dyer talks about the art of “non-interference”, which is simply allowing others to make their own choices and to live with the results those choices bring. It’s very hard, as parents to do this, but it is the one thing that will allow them to be independent and empowered in this world.

Inside every child is an abundance of wisdom just busting to be shared. And yet most people don’t consider a child’s knowledge as valuable. “I know better”, “believe me, I have made these mistakes and I don’t want you to make them same ones.”

You know how painful some of your choices were and you are actually parenting them through your pain. But there is no better teacher, no more valuable tool than to give your children the opportunity to make their own mistakes and learn the lessons that those choices may give them.

Children have an innate sense of right and wrong, of responsible choices and often when they open their mouths, there is a maturity that shines through that may just surprise you.

Teach your children to express themselves without anger, to share their vulnerability without fear and to choose their direction in life. Chances are they will turn out just fine!

Let your children have a voice and connect with them from your open heart without taking things personally.

And watch with complete acceptance as these precious gifts from God show you how its done!

With love and kindness

Bettina

Enjoy an afternoon out with your girlfriends at a fun workshop: The Inner and Outer Beauty Connection. We’ll talk about beauty from the inside out and we’re going to do facials with some great Arbonne products! Register before July 10 and receive a free gift as well as $5 off the cost of the workshop.

To find out more or register go to: www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

Are You Smiling Every Day?

2011-06-30T14:57:00.000-04:00

I wonder how many people in this world go through a day, perhaps even a week, without once smiling. I can remember a time when I may have done so and not even noticed it was happening.

Sure I could tell I wasn’t happy but I had come to believe that that was life and you couldn’t do anything about it.

Boy was I wrong!!!

One day, when I probably couldn’t have felt worse, I decided that there must be a better way and I went looking for it. Well, it turns out I didn’t have to look far because once I made that decision, everything I needed seemed to be put right in front of me.

You know that saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears”? Well, it was just like that.

And into my life came a wonderful life coach who helped me to see that my happiness was up to me, that it didn’t come from anything outside of me. I learned to connect to the peace, joy and tranquility that were lying dormant inside me for more years than I’d like to admit.

And I began smiling every day – at least once. Soon, it became a way of life – paying attention to the little things in life, being present and aware of what was going on around me and looking at it with a more positive perspective, and then, smiling at it all.

I smile at strangers I see on the street, I smile at the people at work, I smile at my husband, my kids, small babies, elderly couples, birds on the window ledge, my growing garden. It’s amazing how many things you can find to smile about when you really start looking for them.

Take a look around and see if you can find more things to smile about. It certainly can help bring you out of the doldrums and appreciate each day.

With love and kindness

Bettina

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Removing the Mask of Anger

2011-06-21T15:34:00.000-04:00

You’re driving down the street and someone cuts you off. You feel your blood boil and you hear some expletive coming from your mouth.

Your husband or wife says something to you and suddenly you feel irritated and want to snap back at them.

Your kids are out of control and you start yelling at them trying to regain some sense of order.

You’re at work and your boss starts yelling at you for some mistake you’ve made or bit of work you didn’t complete and you want to tell him off.

These are all examples of when anger can take over a situation. It can be very toxic to us if we suppress it and toxic to others if we project it. No one wants to be the recipient of someone else’s anger.

So what is anger all about? The dictionary defines anger as a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong, wrath, ire”. And this may be true but looking back to the 12^th century, the roots of the word is connected to the old Norse word angr meaning sorrow, grief, the Old High German word angust meaning far and even the Latin word angor which means anguish.

Having read this, it made great sense as anger is merely a mask for something deeper that we are feeling, for instance fear, guilt, sadness or shame.

Behind each expression or feeling of anger, there is something more and if we can use the rising anger to show us the way, we can tune in to the emotions that are feeding it.

We often use anger as a way to show our strength, but it really is a weakness. It’s the mask we hide behind when we are feeling fearful and can’t face a situation from a truthful and perhaps vulnerable place.

It’s funny and may seem almost backward but when we let our guard down and speak to others from a more vulnerable place, situations can be resolved in a loving peaceful way. Imagine that!

The next time you feel anger starting to erupt from inside, take a breath, look at what is really behind it. What are you afraid of? What are you trying to hide from others, or from yourself?

Remove the mask of anger and empower yourself to live in truth. You’ll be surprised at how much better it works for you!

With love and kindness

Bettina

For more information about one-on-one coaching sessions, workshops and meditation go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca Sign up for our newsletter and get a free meditation download.

The Balance of Life

2011-06-13T17:08:00.000-04:00

Mother Nature and the earth find their balance constantly. As things change whether naturally or by human act, the earth manages to counteract with an event or circumstance that brings it back into its perfect state of balance.

There are many examples of balance in life. The Yin and Yang, light and dark, masculine and feminine, good and bad, right and wrong.

We are constantly seeking balance in our lives or within ourselves. At times it becomes such a mission that we find ourselves so out of our element that we don’t know where to begin to find the contentment, peace and joy that we call balance.

In universal terms there is no such thing as balance really. It is only our human judgment of things that causes the need to find balance. We judge things right or wrong, good or bad, big or small, and on and on.

In doing so, we often choose not to face the “negative” feelings that may come up. We are afraid of them because they don’t feel good. But is this true? Do they really not feel good?

When we take judgment out of the equation, an emotion is just that – an emotion. There is no good or bad about it. And if we replace judgment with full acceptance, then we recognize there is no difference between feeling love or feeling fear. There are just emotions, experiences, sensations.

If we look at each emotion that arises as just another experience to be observed from that place within that knows the truth, we never have to know suffering.

It is our non-acceptance of experiences, emotions, thoughts and situations that cause us to suffer. When we accept it all as part of our human experience, neither good nor bad, we ease our suffering and feel more content, peaceful and loving.

And in doing so we bring ourselves back to a natural balance.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Find the balance you are looking for in your life, live in peace, contentment and with a loving heart. For more information about how one-on-one coaching sessions can help you, please go to: www.thesoulconnection.ca

Motherhood – The Perfect Gift

2011-05-07T09:48:00.000-04:00

I wanted to be a mother from the time I was a small child and looked after my brother and sister while my own mother worked at home.

The idea of caring for such innocent loving beings appealed to me more than anything else in life. I felt passionate about it.

When I became a mother it was a dream come true – my chance to love and nurture, to guide and teach another human being what this life was all about.

It was easy and it was difficult. It was fun and it was trying. It was fulfilling and it was frustrating. And yet it was all wonderful.

There were many times when I know I could have handled situations better, chastised myself for yelling when I shouldn’t have, and yes, occasionally raising my hand to my children. These times filled me with guilt, brought me to my knees in regret for being exactly how I swore I wouldn’t be.

None of this, however, had anything to do with how much I loved my children. They were the world to me – so beautiful in their wide-eyed innocence, trusting me implicitly to show them the way.

Beyond the guilt and regret though, what I realized was that I always did the best I could in each particular moment. That everything I did for and with my children was out of pure love for them. And sometimes, when I lost my connection to my own love, my choices were not the best.

It was the perfect gift to show me the way to my own loving heart, to find the compassion for myself in all my less than perfect moments so I could have compassion for my children in their less than perfect moments too.

It was the biggest lesson I have ever learned in my life. My children have been my greatest teachers and I am so grateful for their love and compassion for me at those times when I may have lost my way in my role as their mother.

And I learned to see my own mother in a different light, with more compassion, love and understanding.

In looking at myself, taking care of my own needs, wants desires and emotional well-being, I learned to be a better mother. I let go of wanting my children to help me feel a certain way and realized that it was up to me.

I’ve spent many happy hours with my children from birth to the present – laughing, crying, sharing, talking, advising and guiding. But what I found so amazing and interesting is that it wasn’t always me that was advising and guiding.

Who’d have thought when I was small and that desire first entered my vision that it would have been this spectacular a journey?

Happy Mother’s Day to every mother! May you find peace, love, compassion and the spirit of fun with your children each and every day.

With love and kindness

Bettina

For more information about The Soul Connection and how you can live the life you desire, go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca
You'll also find more information about our upcoming workshops: Connecting to the Divine Goddess Within and Introduction to the Enneagram

The Soul Connection

2011-05-02T16:57:00.000-04:00

Living from that place within that loves, gives, feels grace, kindness and peace is the Soul Connection.

Here are ten ways to make the soul connection:

1. Know your value is limitless
2. Know that you are worthy of all the universe has to offer
3. Tell someone you love them even if they are not being kind.
4. Make the choice to respond to anger with peace and kindness
5. Accept what is before you in the present moment
6. Acknowledge your own negative feelings and release them
7. Feel gratitude for each moment
8. Let go of past heartaches
9. Be compassionate for you do not know what the other person may be going through.
10. Feel the joy of each moment, each day.

May each day be one of connecting to your soul, feeling the peace, love, wisdom and strength that living consciously can bring.

With love and kindness
Bettina

For more information about The Soul Connection and how you can live your life with purpose and passion, go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

Our Happiness - Our Responsibility

2011-04-18T17:43:00.000-04:00

Every day I am reminded by the Universe that if I want to be happy it’s my responsibility – my choice.

And so each day I try to make the choice to be happy. Now that doesn’t always happen – sometimes I get caught up in some drama, someone says something or does something that clashes with a belief I have about myself or the world around me. And I find myself reacting to the situation in a less than “spiritual” way. It can be embarrassing and nerve-wracking and often the moment the words or action happen I am wishing I could take it back.

Haven’t we all been in that kind of situation at one time or another? And don’t we all wish that we could find some way to avoid it? We can learn to take care of our own belief system, questioning it, examining it’s validity, letting go of beliefs that we’ve had since we were young children that, when we look at them today, no longer work for us. Let’s face it, we don’t have the same taste in clothes that we had when we were kids, nor do we have the same friends and if we do, they have probably changed over the years. So why would our belief system be the same as well?

If we had a relationship that wasn’t working, wouldn’t we take a good look at it and question whether it is still good for us? And most often if it isn’t we let it go, moving on to something more positive or life enhancing. The same principles should be used when we find ourselves reacting to an event or person in a negative way. Take a look at where the negativity came from – chances are it came from a deep seated belief that you may not even realize you have.

Awareness is one of the key factors in changing our life for the better. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, blaming others or the lack of something in your life isn’t what will make you happy. In fact, it will more than likely make you more unhappy in the long run.

Wayne Dyer says, “You can never get enough of what you don’t want”. You think you want the new car, the perfect partner, the big house, the prestigious job to make you happy and yet when you get them all you find you are no happier than you were before. Why? Because it’s not what you really wanted. What you really wanted was to feel happy.

So maybe it’s time to find your happiness in a new way. Instead of looking for it from the outside in, turn it inside out.

Move all the junk and negativity out of the way and see the happiness, joy, love and peace that lie within you at all times just waiting to be recognized, acknowledged and felt.

If you want to feel happy – take responsibility for making the conscious choices that will reveal to you the true happiness that lies within.

Make every day your best day!

With love and kindness

Bettina

Are you unhappy with some part of your life? Do you want to find a way to change it? You can find help at: www.thesoulconnection.ca.

Acceptance Relieves Suffering

2011-03-28T17:13:00.000-04:00

Are you unhappy, miserable, stuck in a place you don’t like? Do you feel like a victim, a bully or just invisible?

These are all feelings that could be defined as suffering. We suffer when we’re miserable or play the role of victim. We are unhappy when we aren’t getting the feelings we want from life.

But did you know that you have a choice in all of this? To suffer or not to suffer – there’s the choice.

We tend to identify with what we feel, putting out to the world that this is who we are. “I’m a victim,” or I’m a bitch,” or even “I’m nobody”. What we FEEL is not WHO we are.

So how do we make a better choice for ourselves? The most basic answer is to be more conscious of what we are saying, how we are reacting and examining how valid our reactions to certain situations are. Pay close attention to what is going on inside that is feeding the emotions. Somewhere inside beneath the anger, fear or pain there is a belief that’s been living in you all your life that you don’t pay attention to. But that belief is fueling your actions, words and feelings.

And usually the belief is causing us to resist what is happening, what someone else says or does, wanting the other person to be wrong. But are they really wrong? Or are they just different? Seriously – it’s something to consider.

And if you consider them wrong it must mean that you need to be right – so why do you need to be right? Did you know you can be right or you can be happy, but you can’t be both. Which do you choose?

Letting go of our resistance to what is happening around us and accepting it for what it is, just another experience in our perception of life, can lead us to such a feeling of peace, that suffering can no longer live within us. Isn’t that a great concept? Who knew!

So if you don’t want to be miserable, unhappy, angry, fearful, the victim, bully or invisible, stop resisting and start living in a state of acceptance.

It doesn’t mean we have to allow people to treat us badly, it just means we can let go of the reactions that cause us to suffer and we can then speak from a place of love and grace.

“Resistance is futile” (I can’t help but quote Star Trek cause it’s true – resistance never made anyone happy)

With love and kindness

Bettina

Are you unhappy with some part of your life? You can find help at: www.thesoulconnection.ca. Have you ever wondered why you behave the way you do? Is there some part of your life that doesn’t make sense? Do you want to find the root of your problems so you can live a joyful life? Introduction to the Enneagram is a workshop that will help you to discover your personality type and the root beliefs that cause you to react the way you do to many of life’s experiences. Register at: www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

The Truth is in Silence

2011-03-18T14:42:00.000-04:00

Life these days consists of cell phones, social networking, computers, TV’s, radios and all that dull white noise that we have gotten so used to that we don’t even notice it.

Sometimes, it’s almost to hectic to breathe and we long for some peace, a little silence, a break from the constant movement, busyness and chaos that life throws at us.

So what do we do? Where do we find our peace of mind? The answer is in the silence.

In the silence we can relax, let go of stress, worry and fear. Without the outward distractions we have a chance to take a good honest look at where we’re at, what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling it. We can examine what we consider our weaknesses and find ways to feel stronger and more confident. In the silence is the truth of who we are and what is keeping us from connecting to it.

The silence brings more clarity. We see things we didn’t notice before. We hear things we’ve never heard and we acknowledge what we have ignored for a long time.

It can rock us gently into a peaceful bliss that we may never have known before and allow us to accept whatever is right in front of us.

Out of the silence screams of our uncomfortable feelings come to the surface so we can heal and soothe our wounded self.

The need for constant distraction drops away and we recognize how much we enjoy our own company. We discover the love we’ve always wanted to feel and are astonished that it has been within us all along.

We wrap ourselves in the comforting blanket of silence that seems to teach us gently and without judgment everything we ever needed to know.

Yes, there is a deeper truth that lies in silence – a truth that cannot be found on Facebook or Twitter, nor is it broadcast on radio or TV. It is the truth of our authentic divine self.

There’s not another experience quite like it in the world.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Are you unhappy with some part of your life? : Check our website at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about our upcoming workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions.

The Ripple Effect

2011-03-11T15:15:00.000-05:00

You drop a pebble or stone into a lake and you watch as the water begins to ripple. It spreads outward reaching farther than you would have imagined. The effects of that one pebble reach the shore around the whole lake.

Imagine the world to be that lake and you are that pebble. What would your world look like?

You see, everything we say and do has an effect on other people. And it not only touches the person we are in direct contact with but it also spreads to everyone who is witness to what is being said or done. As a result, we then see in the world a reflection of what we are feeling and thinking.

If I were to perform an act of kindness towards you, how would you feel? You’d feel good wouldn’t you? It would remind you to connect with that place within that knows you are loved and appreciated and probably worthy of such a loving gesture.

And what happens when you feel worthy, loved and appreciated? You want to be the best you can be which may include directing an act of kindness or loving gesture toward someone else. When you do so, someone else will connect with their own true self and want to do something nice for someone else as well. And so on and so on. This is how the ripple effect works.

Not only that but the more positive kind things you do, the better you feel about yourself. And the better you feel about yourself, the more kind things you want to do.

It’s a simple and easy way to start feeling good today!

Through the week this week, why not create The Ripple Effect. Start doing random acts of kindness for others and see if it just doesn’t make you feel great!

And please share with me, either here in the comment section below, or by email your experiences.

With love and kindness

Bettina

Join us for a great girls’ night out, Connecting with the Divine Goddess Within. It’s an evening of fun, laughter and connection as we discuss ways in which you can find your voice from your inner power and peace, practice self-care, learn to say no and where your strength really lies. To register go to: http://www.thesoulconnection.ca/workshops.html

before March 15, 2011.

Energetic Balance

2011-03-04T17:47:00.000-05:00

Whether you want to admit it or not, we all have feminine and masculine energy present in us.

Now before you go getting upset about people thinking you’re too prissy for a guy or too macho for a girl, that isn’t really what I’m talking about. Read on…

The universe is made up of feminine and masculine energy, often called the yin (feminine) and the yang (masculine). Each energy has its own traits. Feminine energy is comprised of things like compassion, kindness, love, receiving, nurturing, intuitiveness, creativity and wisdom, while strength, assertiveness, protectiveness, logic, giving, organizing, control and standing up for one’s self are based on masculine energy.

In order for us to live a balanced and happy life, these two types of energy are what need to be balanced in life.

So for instance, the masculine control can be softened with the more feminine acceptance. Surrender, a more feminine energy can be offset by the masculine trait of protectiveness.

Each energy is a vital part of our very being, but when one or the other is too strong it can cause suffering, unhappiness, anger and other feelings of being disconnected to occur.

The attempt for women and men to bring their energies into balance has cause many different shifts of power over the centuries. But the answer doesn’t lie in one gaining power over the other. The answer lies in each individual finding the perfect balance of each energy within themselves.

Like everything in life, peace comes from inner balance and connection. So too, energetic balance can only be found within ourselves, where our true power lies. And this power, that comes from our source is much more intense and far less threatening when there is balance between the divine masculine and feminine of the universe.

Believe me, it is the ultimate place to be and no one is going to accuse you of being a wuss or a bitch. They’re more likely to be inspired by your inner strength, conviction of principles and ability to express yourself in a way that people will listen.

With love and kindness,

Bettina

Make your life a positive experience from the inside out. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops, or contact us for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how we can help you transform your life: Check our website at:www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about our upcoming workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

The Perfect Relationship

2011-02-25T14:06:00.000-05:00

Now, don’t get me wrong. By perfect I don’t mean it’s all sunshine and rainbows with no conflict or issues.

The Perfect Relationship is far from problem free. But it does hold a sense of freedom.

My husband often tells people that the most loving thing I ever said to him was, “I don’t need you.” When he shares this, he gets all sorts of different reactions from people.

Some nod their head in understanding and others are bewildered by it. One thing is for sure though – I really don’t need my husband.

But…

I do love him unconditionally.

I give him the space to feel and work through whatever he needs to.

I create a safe place for him to share his truth.

I don’t take things personally.

I don’t have secrets.

I share what is in my heart of hearts in the most loving of ways.

And when I fail at any of these things as I do from time to time, I forgive myself and am secure in the knowledge that my most precious husband will understand and love me anyway.

The perfect relationship with someone else actually begins with us. The most important thing we need to do is to be what we want to attract. So if we want a beloved relationship, one of unconditional love, of caring and respect and honor, then we must feel all of these things for our self.

The perfect relationship doesn’t mean you never get upset or angry or hurt. What it does mean is that you can take responsibility for those feelings and work through them without blaming the other person.

It means that with total self-love you enter into the relationship knowing that you are worthy, beautiful, strong, wise and kind and that you don’t need the relationship to show you these things about yourself.

Now doesn’t that take a lot of the pressure off of each individual in the relationship? Things flow, you can have fun and there are no conditions upon which you share your love. You both come to the table loving yourselves unconditionally and that love flows steadily back and forth between you in waves of joy, peace and passion.

It’s not about the things we give each other but the feelings we share. And we can only share what we feel inside us. So if what you’re sharing isn’t what you’d like, maybe it’s time to make a change from the inside and share what you really want on the outside.

With love and blessings,

Bettina

Listening from the Heart

2011-02-19T08:24:00.000-05:00

Are you a good listener? I mean, a really good listener. One who listens from the heart, really staying present with the other person, creating the space for them to share and hearing what they are saying.

It’s not easy to do. We often listen from our head, constantly thinking of what we want to say next and totally missing what the other person is saying to us. Sometimes it’s because we have a desire to be heard and perhaps in our lives we have not had that opportunity. And sometimes it’s because we want to show how smart or wise we are, to feel good about ourselves and to be helpful to another.

But what if we took our heads or ego out of the equation and really moved into our heart, allowing the space for someone else to speak; so they will know that what they have to say is important?

My father always says, “If you’re talking, you’re not learning.” And truer words were never spoken. We can learn so much about others, about ourselves if we stop to listen, to really be present with a conversation.

Thinking about what we want to say next is not living present. It is looking to the future where we think our happiness lies. Letting go of our need to be happy, feel good about ourselves, or be the savior for someone, can free us up to really listen and hear, and to respond with true wisdom and love.

Most communication problems come from a lack of attention to really listening to each other. So if you are having problems communicating with someone in your life, take a look at not how you convey your side of the story, but how well you listen to the other person’s.

Give it a go and let me know how it goes for you. Do you see a difference? I’d love to hear your experiences! Just leave a comment below or email me at: Bettina@thesoulconnection.ca

With love and blessings,

Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life a positive experience. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops, or contact us for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how we can help you transform your life: Check our website at:www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about our upcoming workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

The Art of Understanding Loving Gestures

2011-02-11T20:42:00.000-05:00

With Valentine’s Day approaching, the subject of how people express their love has come up a few times and I thought it would be a nice idea to talk about it in my blog this week.

When we love someone, we find ourselves looking for ways to express our love to them. These loving gestures sometimes come very easily to us and at other times they require great thought. Either way, our intention is to show the other person just how much we care for them by word or deed.

This can sometimes be tricky because we all have different perspectives and don’t always see things in the same way. And what we perceive to be a loving gesture might not always coincide with how our partner sees things.

We almost always give what we wish to receive. It’s how we work. However, what we wish to receive, again may not be what our partner wishes to receive.

This can cause quite a bit of frustration, unhappiness and disappointment in our relationships if we don’t understand what a loving gesture is to our partner.

For instance, a man may see his wife struggling with the old vacuum cleaner each time she cleans. When her birthday comes along he proudly goes out and buys her a brand new top of the line vacuum cleaner. His thinking? He cares enough about making things easier for his wife that he is buying her a gift that will help make that happen. Her thinking? What a terrible gift to give me for my birthday – certainly not romantic!

You can imagine what kind of argument this might cause!

Or perhaps a woman sees how hard her husband works and thinks that a nice relaxing day at a spa would be the perfect anniversary gift. Her thinking? He works so hard, I’d love to show him he is valued and give him the break he deserves. His thinking? What do I want with a spa day? I want to go to the football game.

Well, you get the picture.

If we can communicate well enough with our partners to understand what a loving gesture is to them, what would make them feel loved and valued, not only can we be more aware of what they would like as a gift, but we can also be more accepting of the gifts they give us.

Give your partner a break this Valentine’s Day and instead of looking at the gift, recognize the loving gesture behind it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love and blessings

Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life a positive experience. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops, or contact us for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how we can help you transform your life: Check our website at:www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about our upcoming workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

Boring has no meaning when we live in the now

2011-01-28T16:04:00.000-05:00

How many times have you caught yourself saying, “This is boring,” when referring to a task, event, movie, work or experience? Have you ever looked at exactly why it seems boring?

We are always looking to feel a certain way, usually happy, fulfilled, peaceful, joyful. And generally if we are not getting any of those feelings from what we are doing we will most likely find it boring.

When we are not connected to our own source of happiness, peace, love and joy, we will find ourselves looking in the world for it and usually only finding momentary satisfaction.

By living in the present and focusing on what is right in front of us in this moment, we can stay connected to all of these things and magically time disappears no matter what we are doing banishing the word boring from our vocabulary.

Staying present is not always easy, however and there is usually some work that may have to be done in order to be in the moment.

Some of that work includes be aware of when we are if we find ourselves not in the moment. Usually we are in the past – worrying or angry about something that happened before – or in the future – creating a story about what MIGHT happen tomorrow and either worrying or angry about that.

Once we are aware of when we are we can look at it and question how true or valid our feelings about it are today. We often go along in life never questioning how we feel about things and then when we do, we realize our whole outlook on it has changed.

Let go of the past and leave the future to be what it is – non-existent. The past is over and the future will never come. Being in the present is where it’s at – and in the present everything is perfect and certainly never boring!

Love and blessings
Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life a positive experience. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops, or contact us for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how we can help you transform your life: Check our website at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about our upcoming workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

Seven Things About Me

2011-01-22T13:56:00.000-05:00

I was recently awarded a blog award by the very talented and creative Chania at razmataz. Her blogs always inspire me, not only in the area of home decorating but in so many other ways.

So as a recipient of this award I am to write seven things about myself that people might not know. Here they are:

l. I am very domestic. I loved being a stay at home mom, taking care of the house and all the domestic duties. I sometimes miss it now that I am working more.
2. I am passionate about chocolate. And I don't mean just eating it but making it. I make it every chance I get. I even started a little side company for selling my wares, called Evolution Chocolate. I love the process of tempering the chocolate and making homemade fillings and ingredients. I like knowing what the ingredients are too.
3. I love my work as a Life Coach. There is nothing more fulfilling than helping someone transform their life and watching as the realization dawns on them that things can and do change. It's an amazing feeling to send them off to do just that. It's about spreading joy to everyone I meet, sharing what I've learned from my own experience and allowing others to be just exactly who they are and loving it all.
4. I love children - any size, any age - babies, toddlers, tweens, teens and even young adults. Children still have the innocence that we, as adults, are all looking for. They can teach us so much about life, about feeling and about facing our pain full on, no holds barred. If only we would allow them to do it freely.
5. I am old fashioned and swear I was born too late. I love making everything from scratch, whether it's food, clothing, home decor items. I see something in the store and my first thought is, "I bet I can make that myself". Not to save money but just for the sense of accomplishment that comes from a job well done.
6. I love to paint. Not pictures but walls. Not so much using the roller but cutting in. My father taught me how to cut in many years ago and I've had a lot of practice. Sometimes when my husband, the renovator, has a painting job to go to, I go and help him. I cut in, he rollers. I find there is something very meditative about cutting in. A good lesson in being present and focussed.
7. I am a singer. Not a platinum record classed singer but a singer none-the-less. I sing around the house, in the car, in public. I've sung in church choirs, cantored, and was even in The Sound of Music in grade seven. A few years ago I actually took singing lessons and loved it. I would practice every chance I get. My secret dream is to have enough courage to sing in front of an audience bigger than 10 people.

And now I would like to send this award out to the following blogs who are constantly inspiring me, teaching me and making me laugh:

1. Be The Role Model - because we all want to be better parents and Jo-Anne has a great way of sharing how we can.

2. Gluten-free Goddess - because with all the allergies and food sensitivities, her fantastic recipes are a refreshing alternative to the things we can't always eat.

3. The Inner Workout - because every day can be whatever we want it to be if we let go of our fear. Colleen shares her unique perspective and inspires people to find their connection to who they are.

And thank you Chania for the honor of being on your list and for this award. What you share is truly inspiring in every way.

A Desire for Change – Where does it come from?

2011-01-21T15:28:00.000-05:00

Are you someone who moves a lot, changes jobs on a regular basis, cannot stay in a long term relationship or generally creates change in your world to feel good?

We’ve learned through our lives that the way to feel happy is to find something or someone out in the world who can do that for us. Eventually we discover that this doesn’t work very well and that no matter how much retail therapy, how many friends, how great our partner is, we still don’t feel the way we want to.

This is because we are doing things backwards. Instead of looking into the world for something to make us happy, what will really work is looking within.

When we meet someone and feel the connection, the spark, the great feeling, it’s not because that person is giving it to us. It’s because the person is a mirror reflection of what we are feeling inside and being with them reminds us of that connection to our love and joy. The same things happens when we buy a new outfit and feel fantastic in it. It’s not the outfit that gives us that feeling, but rather the outfit is a reminder that those feelings are within us and we can connect with them any time we want. All we have to do is remember this so we can connect with it every day.

And if we can’t connect with those feelings every day it’s because we have beliefs, feelings and thoughts that are telling us otherwise. And we’re listening to them!

Listening to the ego can take us away from our connection to peace, love and joy. Ignoring what the ego is telling us and listening to our heart can bring us to the feelings we are all looking for.

Until we change how we see the world and what we expect from it, we can never feel the absolute freedom of true peace, joy and love and our lives will fall short of our expectations.

Looking within is the key to living the life we desire.

Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life a positive experience. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops, or contact us for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how we can help you transform your life: Check our website at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about other workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

Manifest Your World from Within

2011-01-14T14:52:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of teachings out there about how to manifest what we desire in our lives. And it’s so easy to get caught up in it all and want to be able to manifest, but it doesn’t always work the way we want it and we often find ourselves wondering what went wrong and why we still don’t have the life we want.

Desire is a tricky thing. And we can sometimes confuse desire with neediness. We want something so badly that we forget to let it go so that the universe can do its work. That’s neediness.

Desire is when we want to see something in our lives and then we let go of the outcome of it. We put the intention out to God or the universe and then we give the space necessary for it all to happen.

Neediness is when we hang on to the desire so tightly that we try to control everything and everyone in order to make it come to fruition. We think we have control over. But guess what? We don’t. We are helpless to do anything about whether something happens or it doesn’t, whether we get what we want or not.

So the most important aspect of manifesting our desires is having the courage to let them go, to feel unattached to whether they are created or not, to allow it to evolve as it is meant to.

On the other hand, it is a good idea to be aware that the answer to our prayers is not always what we are expecting. We may ask for a wonderful new relationship to come into our lives so we can feel loved. And we end up more alone than ever. What we don’t realize is that what the universe has sent us is a better solution to what we’re looking for.

Because loneliness can bring us into ourselves to look at why we feel this way and then discover a way to find the love within ourselves. And when that occurs, the possibilities are endless, our opportunities are limitless and all because we no longer need them to even happen.

When we desire something we are usually looking for a feeling more than an outward solution. Looking at our desires from this different perspective, at the deeper meaning behind them, we can find the answers in our hearts, not in the world.

Everything that we desire is always within us. There is no need to look into the world. And when we discover this to be true, the world will greet us with all that we desire anyway.

Go figure!

Have a great week of living the possibilities within.

With love and blessings

Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life a positive experience. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops, or contact us for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how we can help you transform your life: Check our website at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about other workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

Staying Positive in a Negative Situation

2011-01-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

So you’ve made the decision to be more positive and upbeat in your life as a step to feeling happier and maybe achieving some goals you’ve set. And it’s all going really well, until you step into an environment, perhaps your job, your family situation or some other experience, that is full of negativity. What do you do then?

The first thing to look at is what makes the environment negative. If we look at it from our own perspective which is how we look at all of life, then our perspective (or judgment) is what makes it negative.

It is what it is, no if’s ands or buts. It is our perception, which is based on our belief system that creates positive and negative judgment. And when what is happening doesn’t meet with our belief system we find it difficult to accept what is happening.

Another person might look at the same situation and see no negativity whatsoever about it. Again, it is their perception that creates this judgment.

So how do we function positively in a negative environment? We can look at what the experience is showing us about ourselves. We can examine what the belief is that creates the negative perception and we can shift that belief to a more positive one.

We can think positively all we want, but if there are still negative beliefs hanging about inside us, we will never convince ourselves of anything different.

Review the belief, question if it still holds true for you, or even why you need it so much. Does it serve you now? If it’s no longer valid, remove it from your repertoire. Allow it to fall away.

You’ll be surprised at how the negative environment will change. (Or is it you that changed?)

May all your experiences be perceived as positive.

Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life a positive experience. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops: Our next workshop is Connecting to the Divine Goddess Within on Wed. Jan 12. Check our at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about other workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

New Year’s Resolutions – Why do we make them?

2011-01-03T14:23:00.000-05:00

New Year’s Resolutions – Why do we make them?

Most of us, at one time or another, have made New Year’s Resolutions. But how many of us are still aware and following those resolutions by the end of the year, or even by the end of January for that matter?

The end of the year comes and we are filled with the promise of a fresh start in a new year, will immeasurable possibilities before us. We want to lose weight, get fit, be healthier, quite smoking, etc. etc. All great and admirable desires and probably very good for us too!

But by the second week of January, somewhere, somehow, we have lost that feeling that lead us to want to change things in the first place. And resolutions are forgotten, dropped by the wayside never to be mentioned again.

Why is it that we can’t stick with them?

Anything we do creates a feeling of good or bad in us. A long look at the year we have just muddled our way through can sometimes cause feelings of not being good enough, not enjoying life enough, unsuccessful or just plain blah.

And so in an attempt to make ourselves feel better, we make a list of all the things that we think are going to make us feel better about ourselves – almost always physical, material or outward things.

It’s a like being in a relationship – it starts with fire and passion and gradually falls off into a rather slow simmer.

If we are looking to feel better about ourselves, if we want to be happier, feel more loved, find more peace or just feel content, then outward things are not going to do it for us long term. We will never be thin enough, healthy enough, happy enough, well you get the picture.

Looking within to find the real reasons why we can’t connect to our self-worth, love and peace is the best way to find those feelings for ourselves. Then we don’t have to rely on other people or things to create it for us.

This year I didn’t make resolutions. Instead I decided to set intentions for the upcoming year. And in setting those intentions, to do whatever inner work was necessary to accomplish what I was looking for in terms of how I feel about myself and my life.

Most of the intentions were centered in a more loving, compassionate and respectful place. Living more from this place will always change how life presents itself to you. And every word and action that comes from a peaceful, loving place is perfect in every way.

Feel the richness of your life not your bank account.

Grow deeper in your relationships with others by growing deeper in your relationship with yourself.

Create a healthy environment for yourself and others emotionally, physically and mentally.

Speak your truth with love, compassion and respect.

Be conscious and aware at all times of who you are and what you are feeling.

Be more accepting of what is in front of you and be grateful for whatever it is.

Strive to feel more a part of God in every moment of every day. For it is in this place that life unfolds as a beautiful and wondrous thing.

May this year be a year in which you feel the good in everyone and everything.

With love and blessings

Bettina

Make 2011 a year of transformation. Make your life what you want it to be. Join us for one of our upcoming workshops: Our next workshop is Connecting to the Divine Goddess Within on Wed. Jan 12. Check our at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about other workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

Ringing in the New Year

2010-12-27T12:50:00.000-05:00

Another year has come and gone and at some point most of us will look back and contemplate what has gone before. Some of us will see it as an amazing year that has brought us to a new deeper understanding of ourselves and others will be feeling the pain that may have shown us things we didn’t want to see.

So how do you want to see the past year? Will you be letting go of any pain and heartache that you may have suffered in favor of starting a new year with hope and peace?

Or will you choose to hang on to the negative things that were not what you wanted?

How important is the past? Does it have to reflect how we look at our present or forward to our future? I think we all know that the past can be left where it was – in the past. And each moment starts us on a new journey – each moment is a new beginning.

So, yes, take the time to look back on your year. See what lessons you have been fortunate to learn, what experiences brought you inside to find the peace, love and contentment that you’ve always wanted. What experiences have you not let go of yet? Look at those and examine why you are still hanging on. Write them on a piece of paper, acknowledge that they are not true and then tear the paper up and throw it away along with the feelings and beliefs that are attached to it. Find forgiveness in your heart for those that have brought you to your pain and for yourself. This alone can change so much.

Allow yourself to see today as a new beginning and look ahead to the New Year as a positive, abundant and fulfilling year in which you have access to all the opportunities you can imagine and more.

Let go of what hasn’t worked for you in the past and look to new ways of thinking, feeling and being.

Change your life from the inside out in 2011!

Loving wishes to you all for a peace and love filled New Year.

Bettina

Start the new year off with some time for yourself and a commitment to personal growth. Join us for our women’s workshop: Connecting to the Divine Goddess Within on Wed. Jan 12. Check our at: www.thesoulconnection.ca for more information about other workshops, seminars, products and one-on-one, couples or group sessions that we offer.

Peace and Joy

2010-12-13T16:54:00.001-05:00

Holiday music fills the air with messages of peace, joy and good cheer, as we scurry around getting shopping done in busy malls and shops. Traffic is hectic and every seems to be rushing.

The holidays can be a real test of our patience and at a time when kindness should be the norm it is sometimes hard to find it anywhere in our surroundings.

Peace and joy is what we all want to feel and we look for it out in the world a lot of the time, hoping to find some indication that it exists. A lot of times we find it difficult to find.

But are we looking for it in the right place? The love, peace and joy that we are longing to feel does not come from out in the world. It is found within our own hearts if we stop long enough to look for it.

If we put aside our anger, judgment and impatience we make room for the joy and the kindness within ourselves. And when we do find it, it becomes easy to share it with the world.

Let’s look at a few ways we can spread peace and joy this holiday season:

Smile at everyone you meet. It’s amazing how this simple act can help us feel good.
Drop some change in the bowl outside the shops so that those who may not be able to afford food or clothing this winter will know that feeling of being taken care of.
Go shopping with thoughtfulness and patience.
Shop with an open mind and heart – the gift you have in mind might not show itself but you might find something better if you are open to anything.
Spend time with family and friends. Remember that it is the people that are important, not how clean your house is or what you make to feed them.
Make gifts that come from the heart. (I’ve made calendars for people that include pictures that have meaning to them specifically)
Find some quiet time just for you to recharge.
Make a gratitude list.
Listen to some great holiday music or watch a holiday movie. (One of my favourites is It’s a Wonderful Life)
Spend a few minutes each day meditating on what the holidays mean to you.

Wishing you peace and joy in your heart and soul not only during this holiday season but throughout the year.

Love and blessings,

Bettina

Start the new year off with some time for yourself and some personal growth. We have lots of workshops planned. Check them out at: www.thesoulconnection.ca

If life doesn’t make you feel good, change how you feel about life

2010-11-13T15:52:00.000-05:00

This is a concept that is talked about a lot; “Change your outlook on life and your life will change”, “Be the change you want to see in the world”, “Believe in what you want to see.” And yet people struggle with it all the time.

The thing is that if we don’t take a good, hard, honest look at what is really bugging us, what upsets us, what angers us, we’ll never feel completely good about life.

What you carry around inside – the pain or the peace – is what life will keep giving you. Which do you want to feel on a regular basis? Hopefully most of you will say peace.

But in order to feel the peace within us, we’ve really got to get down and dirty with the stuff that is keeping us from feeling it. And I’m sorry but you can’t avoid it – what’s keeping you from feeling peace is your pain.

A few moments of feeling the pain can free us to feel more peace, more love and more joy in life. It’s a small price to pay really.

Ignoring the pain, pushing it aside, finding distractions or suppressing it only serves to prolong the feeling.

Think of it this way; if someone has done something mean or hurtful to you, how much of your life is affected by that event? Maybe a few minutes? Even if it’s an hour or so it’s a blip in time compared to how many times you may relive it in your mind. And not only is it causing us to continue to suffer, it takes us from the present moment to a past that is better off left exactly there, in the past.

If we focus on all the bad things that we’ve experienced in our lives, then life isn’t going to make us feel good. But if we can let those moments go and focus on what feels good inside, connect with that ever flowing peace, what a life that can be!

Change your focus, let go of the past and see what life in the present really has to offer. You’ll be amazed!

The Soul Connection is committed to helping you transform your life to what you truly desire. Sessions are available for individuals, couples and groups and can be conducted in person, by telephone or on Skype.

Also available is our weekly group meetings, Tuesdays at 7 pm. For more information on our meetings, sessions or workshops, please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Fear - It's not as bad as you think!

2010-10-17T14:40:00.000-04:00

This past Friday I had to go to have a tooth extracted and then a post for an implant put in the same space. When I went for my consultation, I could feel the fear rising up in me about what would be done and how I would make out through it all.

Now the oral surgeon did offer to put me out but I didn’t see any physical need for it for I opted for the local anesthetic. Now you may think this is a pretty brave thing to do but I can assure you I felt nothing close to brave as I walked into the OR for the dreaded procedure.

When I started looking at my fear beforehand, I really tried to understand where the fear was coming from. The thing is that fear is usually apparent first and THEN we apply it to something in our lives. So in looking at the fear, I really couldn’t find any reason to be afraid about this procedure.

But there it was when I sat down in the dental chair and watched as preparations were made. I could feel the anxiety welling up in me and so instead of letting it take hold of me as I may have done in the past, I decided to do what I always recommend to my clients – breathe!

And so there I was laying back in the chair, concentrating on my breath, recognizing that in this moment there was absolutely nothing wrong and that the worst part of the fear was the moment before I stepped in to it to face it. And sitting in that chair was that moment.

But focusing on my breath helped me to stay present, to surpass the overwhelming fear and to take that first step into it, allowing it to be what it was, allowing the fear to co-exist with my inner knowing that is wise enough to understand that there is nothing to fear.

It’s not always easy to catch yourself, to be conscious of what the ego is trying to do and how it plays with our thoughts and feelings. But with practice on the little things, we can work up to learning to be more conscious in times when it is very important to stay present.

It’s not the fear that is the problem – it’s our reluctance to acknowledge the fear that causes us so much suffering.

Take a look at some of the things you fear – allow the feeling to come up, open the door to what seems unbearable and walk through. You will find that the most unbearable point is just before walking through the “door”. Once you have taken the step, there is nothing left.

I facilitate private one-on-one sessions in person, via phone, Skype or email. If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

The Gratitude List

2010-10-09T15:38:00.001-04:00

It’s Thanksgiving Weekend here in Canada and so what better time to talk about gratitude? It’s something we don’t always acknowledge, especially when we get caught up in our lives and all that is happening, trying to maintain some sort of balance.

But did you know that sometimes stopping to remember what we’re grateful for can help to bring us more contentment and peace, allowing us to find the balance in our lives much easier. We tend to get caught up focusing on the negative things in life sometimes and completely forget about how much we have to be thankful for.

So today I am posting my list of 10 things I am grateful for and I encourage you all to try doing it as well sometime over the weekend. You may like it so much you’ll decide to do it on a weekly or even daily basis.

And if you’d like to share here I would love it. Sharing can sometimes help to inspire others to look at their Gratitude List as well.

My Gratitude List

I am grateful for the love of family and friends and the support that I get from them when I most need it.
I am grateful for this life that shows me every day so many different and interesting experiences in which I can learn to grow and love more deeply.
I am grateful for the wonderful man that the universe, in its infinite wisdom has sent to me knowing he was my perfect match.
I am grateful for my children who have brought such light and love into my life, always teaching, even when I think it is I who is teaching them.
I am grateful for the roof over my head, the security and abundance that sustain me every day.
I am grateful for the beauty of nature and the change of seasons that shows me that everything changes no matter how hard we try to stop it and that this is a good thing.
I am grateful for my good health and the means with which to support it.
I am grateful for the support of the universe in all that I do.
I am grateful for a world that, although slowly, is awakening to the idea that love and peace is a far better road to take than hatred and war.
I am grateful for this present moment through which I can always be connected to the love, peace and contentment that reside in me always.

Happy Thanksgiving to every one of you with love and gratitude,

Bettina

What is your soul trying to tell you?

2010-10-03T15:36:00.000-04:00

Gut instinct. Intuition. Wisdom. Call it what you want but it’s all the same thing. It’s your soul trying to give you a message.

Have you ever had a feeling that you should do something, say something or be somewhere with no reason whatsoever for that feeling? How many times have you followed up on that feeling?

When this type of thing happens it’s your soul giving you messages, tell you where you need to be, what you need to do. It’s usually just a quiet but persistent presence in the background that is always there kind of pushing you to do or say or go somewhere.

Nine times out of ten, though, we ignore it, let the ego talk us out of it, fear kicks in, propriety, whatever, and we miss out on a great opportunity.

Have you ever had idea to go somewhere and not followed through on it, only later to find out that something really awesome happened and you missed out? What held you back?

It’s always the ego that talks us out of things, that keeps us in this unending limbo of decision making, never really coming to a proper answer as to what you should do.

If you want to enjoy life to the fullest, experience everything you can, feel love, see amazing things, hear joy and be in heaven, stop listening to the ego and start listening to your soul. You’ve got nothing to lose but fear, regret and sadness.

Go for it!

Join us for our upcoming workshop, “Connecting to the Divine Goddess”. Learn to connect to the Divine Goddess within which is the source of wisdom, love, compassion and strength. Find your voice from your inner power and peace. This can benefit any woman who wants to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. For more information please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca/events.html

I facilitate private one-on-one sessions in person, via phone, Skype or email. If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Women - Finding Your Voice

2010-09-25T18:40:00.000-04:00

Through the ages women have gone from being in a position of great power in the ancient times of the Goddess to being repressed by the change in power to a more male dominated society.

In the past century women have been attempting to regain their power in a man’s world.

One thing that I’ve observed is that this attempt is often made through aggressiveness, anger and degrading men or “man bashing”. And what I’ve discovered is that it hasn’t allowed women to become empowered as much as it has conquered and divided the sexes, leaving a lot of frustration, resentment and just plain disconnection.

So how do we empower ourselves so that we can have our cake and eat it too? There is nothing wrong with women feeling equal and as worthy as men when it comes to career, family, money and numerous other things.

But when we try to do this from an angry or forceful place, we are not empowered. When we allow someone to trigger us, or bring up anything in us that is not love, we are handing our power over to them.

Instead we can look at what we are feeling in those moments of feeling powerless and try to understand what it is that makes us behave in a less than loving way. Why do we need to feel more powerful than men or other women for that matter?

When we understand and are aware of what is going on inside ourselves, we can make the necessary changes that can allow us to feel empowered, to stand up for ourselves from a place of freedom, love and respect. This means never having to put someone else down to feel better ourselves.

What feelings are you looking for in the world? Find ways in which you can feel these feelings within you without depending on others to give it over to you. When we expect our worth, love, peace and happiness to come from someone else, again, we are giving them our power.

When we connect to our worth, love, peace and happiness within, we are empowered and the world is our heaven.

Which will you choose? The way of the Goddess or the way of the Tyrant. We have a choice.

Join us for our upcoming workshop, “Connecting to the Divine Goddess”. Learn to connect to the Divine Goddess within which is the source of wisdom, love, compassion and strength. Find your voice from your inner power and peace. This can benefit any woman who wants to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. For more information please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca/events.html

Bettina

There but for the Grace of God...

2010-09-17T14:53:00.000-04:00

Some time ago I realized that I spent a lot of my time in judgment. It was not who I saw myself as and I wanted to change this pattern. Doing so would create more self-worth, self-love and respect and those were all qualities I wanted to have. So I adopted the statement, "There but for the Grace of God go I", sometimes shortened to "it could be me."

So any time I was upset or not feeling great and wanted to make a judgment about someone, I would say "it could be me", meaning, it could just as easily have been me behaving that way, or speaking that way. Would I want someone else to judge me? Would I want them admonishing me, yelling at me, thinking badly of me?

After all, if I did something that was unacceptable to someone else, I may have a very good reason for it. If I cut someone off in traffic it may be because I was preoccupied by something that upset me and wasn't paying proper attention. I'd probably feel silly about having done it and would no doubt be admonishing myself about it. And it's absolutely certain that I would apologize if I could.

So why, when someone else does the very thing that we could just have easily find ourselves doing, do we judge them?

Judgment is something that permeates every part of our lives. It's negative and sometimes hurtful and can change the mood of a situation in a flash. Whether we are judging others or ourselves, we are not acting from our loving heart.

If we try to see the situation from the other person's perspective, chances are we can find compassion and kindness rather than judgment.

We can't change what has happened, but we can change our reaction to it and how it affects us.

When we judge, we give our power away. When we centre ourselves in acceptance we are empowered and peaceful. And we respond with a loving heart.

Choose to wear your loving heart on your sleeve today.

Join us for our upcoming workshop, "Conscious Relationships". Create a deeper, more meaningful relationship with those you are in relationship with. Learn tools and information that can help you communicate in a more loving way in all relationships, even divorce! Find your way back to that loving feeling you had when you first met. For more information please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca/events.html

Bettina

When Opportunity Knocks – don't be afraid, open the door

2010-09-10T07:45:00.000-04:00

When we think of opportunity we often think of good, positive things that bring us closer to our goals or desires. We don't usually think that opportunity will come in the form of a bad experience.

But in reality, a bad experience can be the best type of opportunity if we let it be. We can take the situation and learn more about ourselves, delve deeper into our belief system and perhaps even be aware of some of the painful emotions, thoughts and beliefs that are living inside us - you know the ones that we are too afraid to look at.

It's not as painful as we imagine it to be, looking at why we feel miserable. In fact, the thought of facing it is far worse than actually stepping into the actual pain. Try it some time!

When you are feeling upset by a situation or what someone has said to you, take a breath and allow what you are feeling to flow, no pushing back against it. Accept it, breathe into it, observe it with interest. How does it affect you physically, emotionally, spiritually? Where does the feeling come from? Is there a belief that is creating this feeling? Explore all the possibilities and let go of what is no longer needed or wanted.

And feel the gratitude for the opportunity that has brought you to a new level of understanding, peace and joy.

I'd love you to share your experiences with me either as a comment here or in email.

Join us for our upcoming workshop, "Conscious Relationships". Create a deeper, more meaningful relationship with your partner, find better ways of communicating so that issues are resolved quickly and peacefully. Find your way back to that loving feeling you had when you first met. For more information please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca/events.html

Bettina

Perfection isn't always what you think it is

2010-08-30T14:42:00.000-04:00

I used to say that, as a Virgo, I was a bit of a perfectionist, always wanting things to be just so, working at something until it was perfect to my eye.

Back in those days, I was very critical of whatever task I took on, choosing to see perfection from that belief in me that said I'd never be good enough.

Over the years I have learned that what I do and how I do it does not reflect who I am. Who I am comes from a much deeper place, one that is always perfect, always loving, always peaceful. How I do a job, complete a task or even what I say and do is not always coming from my connection to who I am, but is sometimes coming from my beliefs. Sometimes they are creating a monster, someone I don't even recognize or like.

I've found that if I remain conscious, always aware of what is driving me to say or do different things, I can make the changes that need to be made and connect to my own peace, love, compassion and perfection. In doing so, everything I say and do is always perfect. I am always perfect.

And if I sometimes mess up, that is perfection too!

So let go of your idea of perfection, whatever it is, and embrace who you are. As you do, you will find that you can be more compassionate with yourself and maybe just a little less critical of everything you say and do.

Let me know how it goes! I love it when you share your experiences.

Bettina

Happy or Miserable - What's your Choice?

2010-08-19T11:15:00.001-04:00

The day I realized that it was my choice to either be happy or miserable was one of the most important days of my life.

It's when my whole life as I dreamed it opened up before me, showing me the path that would lead me exactly where I wanted to go.

Sometimes when you're in a place where you are feeling pretty down and unhappy, you think that you have no control over whether you feel that way or not. But really, you do.

You can choose to stay in the sadness, anger, fear, guilt or whatever it is, or you can do something about it. And for everyone it's different.

But for all of us, it comes from the same place - inside. Our lives are created from the inside out, not from the outside world in. We think it's all those great things in the world that make us happy, the new car, the obedient children, the doting husband, the high paying job.

But how many times do you wish for those things and when you do actually get them, you find you are no happier than you were before? See? It makes total sense and yet we keep overlooking the obvious.

Make the choice every day when you get out of bed, to have your best day ever. Make the choice to find the positive, joyful things in life. Give yourself permission to smile. Smile at yourself in the mirror, smile at your kids, your husband, strangers on the street.

You'll be surprised at how much just the simple act of smiling can change how you feel about yourself and your life.

Keep smiling!

Join us for our upcoming workshop, "Introduction to the Enneagram", a look at the nine character types and the connection to the beliefs that are at the core of each number. What number are you? For more information please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca/events.html

Bettina

Finding Joy in the Little Things

2010-08-11T13:56:00.000-04:00

As I headed off to the market this morning, I realized how much I actually enjoy this simple task. I love walking along browsing all the stalls to see what fruit or vegetables are in season checking the prices and talking with the vendors.

People are smiling and talking, the sound of music comes from a gentleman sitting on a chair in the centre of the walkway playing an accordion.

I usually like to take my husband along with me and share this experience with him, but today he is working and I enjoy my solitude, even more present with the warmth of the sun, the blueness of the sky and even where I’ve parked the car!

When I get home I go out to our backyard and check my own vegetables growing in the garden. I look through the tomato plants to find the beautiful sun-kissed red Roma tomatoes that I will use to make my sauce. I rustle through the bean plants to find the newest tender green beans that will be a part of our dinner.

And in these simple things I find joy!

As I look back on my life I can remember a time when I was hard pressed to find joy in anything, let alone the simplest things in life.

I think this happens to a lot of us in our lives. We become so burdened with every day living and working and forget to stop and smell the roses so to speak.

We expect joy to come in a bigger package and we're so busy looking for it that we miss the joy that is right here, right now coming in a steady flow of small, beautiful pleasures that we would see all the time if we just remembered to stay in the present moment.

Take some time to notice the little things in life and how much joy can be felt in experiencing them. It's not the experience that gives you joy but the willingness to be present with life every moment of the day. And in those moments we find a joy beyond our dreams.

In which experiences do you feel joy?

Bettina

Back to the Future

2010-07-31T15:31:00.001-04:00

Ah, home again after a ten day vacation that included a week at a cottage in Prince Edward Island and a few days on the road touring around.

It's always a little tough to get back to routine after being away on a relaxing holiday. But eventually you settle back in and things get back to normal. What is sometimes a little more difficult is to keep that peaceful feeling you so easily felt while away from the hustle and bustle of life and all it's sometimes chaos.

While away, I spent some time reading books I'd left unread on the nightstand table for some time as well as a new book leant to me by a friend. It felt good to have the space and time to read again. Why do I never seem to have time at home? And what about all those crafty things I used to enjoy doing so much – knitting, sewing, needlework? They've all fallen by the wayside over the years as the computer seems to have taken over. A faster paced life, more busyness, distractions and drama have all seemed to work their way into my life and the time that I used to cherish where I just relaxed and enjoyed the peace and quiet of my own space around has vanished somehow.

I vowed on my return that I would find the time to do all those things I used to love doing. There is something I miss about them. Maybe it is the peace I feel when doing them.

At any rate, the vow is in place and hopefully the commitment will follow to read more, write more, meditate (which I always seem to find time for), knit and try a new old craft I discovered while visiting Avonlea in P.E.I. - rug hooking.

I've been wondering how to keep this commitment to myself and what it is that might keep me from sticking with it when everyday life starts distracting me. And it doesn't lie in pushing myself to do what it is I supposedly love doing, but in the feelings that cause me to find distraction like the computer more easily. It's fast, it's fun and you get instant gratification - sending an email and minutes, no, seconds later receiving a reply. There are games that can keep you so focused you don't have to be with yourself.

And that is the key I think. Being able to just be with yourself without distraction, without something to fill every waking minute. Allowing yourself to just enjoy your own company even if it means you learn something new about yourself that you don't necessarily like. It's still ok! That's part of what it's all about. Finding out who you are and that is not going to be found in front of a game of Bejewelled my friend. That can only be found by looking inside.

I'd love to hear from you what kinds of things you used to love to do but have somehow let go of over the years in favor of Facebook, Twitter and text messaging. Leave your comments here or email me at Bettina@thesoulconnection.ca

Join us for our upcoming workshop, "Connecting with the Divine Goddess Within", a look into how women see themselves in the world and how to live a fulfilling and peaceful life. For more information please go to www.thesoulconnection.ca/events.html

Stay tuned to upcoming blog entries for a draw to win some Evolution Chocolate.

Bettina

Accepting the Ebb and Flow of Life

2010-07-19T16:57:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting on the porch of the cottage listening to the ocean below the dunes as the waves roll in and out. We have come to the north shore of Prince Edward Island for a vacation, to enjoy the beauty, rest and relaxation of a province that is far more gentle and slow-moving than others in our country.

I watch as the cool breeze coaxes the dune grass to one side and the grass obliges, allowing the wind to bend it in whatever direction it wants. I watch the fluffy white clouds glide across the clear blue sky with effortless fluidity. And I listen to the waves. From my place on the porch I can see the water as it flows across the beach, sometimes gently at low tide and sometimes with a little more force when the tide is high. Little white caps form, but nothing threatening.

I am inspired and I relate this scene to life. Funny how being in this geographical place, I can be so relaxed and free, feel inspired and allow life to flow. And yet when I return home and try to let that feeling remain within me, life starts to get in the way, distractions, frustrations, little personal things that knock me out of my wonderful bliss to show me that real life isn't always as beautiful and pristine as this beach here in P.E.I.

Maybe I cannot take the beach home with me or even stay here at the beach forever but what I can do is take the feeling with me, learn from nature as I watch it now. I can learn to go with the ebb and flow of life, allowing it to take me wherever it wants to without complaint or judgment, just like the dune grass bends to the winds will. This is something I can emulate in my daily life.

I can take a page from the book of the beach as the ocean rolls against the sand and the sand begins to reshape as time goes by, letting the water find it's own path. Oh yes there are huge lessons to be learned from this experience and I am embracing them all.

And as we drive away a week from now with just a hint of sadness, I will take with me these lessons of acceptance, peace and love and working with instead of against the universe.

The vacation will live forever in my heart and soul as I begin to flow even more with life itself.

Join the flow of life and see where it takes you. Find ways to allow yourself to be carried along as life unfolds. Feel it in every fibre of your being as you enjoy whatever comes your way.

Please visit our website for information on upcoming workshops at www.thesoulconnection.ca

I facilitate private one-on-one sessions in person, via phone, Skype or email. If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

The Ego’s Last-ditch Effort to be in Control

2010-07-12T15:52:00.000-04:00

We all come to a time on our journey where we have let go of most of our attachment to the ego and its insanity.

It is at this point that the ego begins to realize that it is about to be dethroned and starts to rage against this new development with all the ammunition it can muster.

It is constantly "in your face" with all sorts of thoughts and ideas that, in the past, worked like a charm but may no longer be working. Time to step up the game, it decides, as it throws every possible negative thought, idea and belief your way in the hopes that you will grab on to any part of it.

With non-stop attempts to bring you down to your knees with the pain of the past, it continues to natter away at you, hoping that you will eventually give in and listen to its non-sensical chatter.

Having already been through all of it, healing whatever needed to be healed within, finding a peace that can only be found within the heart and soul, you ignore the ego's demands and resistance to your newfound freedom.

You are different now. You know that the ego makes no sense, that the ego never knows what it wants, only what it doesn’t want. You can see the insanity from the perspective of the observer, not judging, not fighting it, but allowing it to have its voice without falling headlong into its trap.

This is the step that takes us from a life that is driven to a life of peace, love, compassion and purpose.

We don't have to abolish the ego. After all it is an integral part of our human existence. But we can live in harmony with it, letting it chatter away and loving it no matter what it wants us to do. The difference now is that we don't have to follow it to the ends of the earth in search of something that is truly only found within us.

Hear it but don't attach to it.

Love it but don't condone it.

Have compassion for its sense of loss when it is no longer needed.

Be at peace no matter what it is telling you to say or do.

Please visit our website for information on upcoming workshops at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Trust in The Universe to Provide Exactly What you Need

2010-06-25T19:23:00.000-04:00

It’s really hard sometimes to let go of the control of getting what you want. We often think that we need to push or take aggressive action in order to make things happen. After all, isn’t this what all the “movers and shakers” do?

Well, maybe, but it’s often a struggle too and sometimes we end up behaving in ways that we are not necessarily proud of after the fact.

So why create guilt, shame and anger if we don’t have to?

It’s also sometimes difficult for people to recognize that what we do every day doesn’t control the outcome of anything. In fact, it can often create a block to the desired outcome.

So what can we do to prevent this from happening? Let go of control, put the intention of what you desire out to the universe and the detach yourself (and your happiness) from the outcome. In other words, don’t let the outcome be the thing that is going to make you happy or content.

This doesn’t mean we can’t set goals. What it does mean is that we don’t have to feel totally responsible for our success or failure in reaching that goal. All we have to do is take responsibility for how we feel and how those feelings are keeping us from moving forward toward our desired outcome.

Affirmations are a good way to focus on what we DO want and let go of trying to control HOW we get it. That part is not up to us.

Freedom is the result of letting go of how the money, the beloved, the new car, the new house are going to come to you. It leaves you open to any opportunity that may present itself to you which you may or may not choose to act on.

We can ask for what we want and then look for ways in which this opportunity presents itself to us instead of trying to control the way in which what we want appears.

Try it. It certainly takes a lot of the pressure off of daily living!

I facilitate private one-on-one sessions in person, via phone, Skype or email. If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Love's Prayer

2010-06-14T11:24:00.000-04:00

My wish for you and the world is simple:

May you feel happiness
May you feel loved
May you feel peaceful
May you feel abundant
May you see beauty in yourself and in the world
May you be surrounded by support, guidance and tranquility
May you know the kindness of others
May you show kindness to others
May you understand that compassion is what is needed for peace in this world
May you know the joy of a dream fulfilled
May you see the world with acceptance and not judgment
May you have the strength to forgive and ask forgiveness
May you be filled with gratitude for all the small miracles in your life.
May you know the true essence of who you are and live through this essence each day
And may your heart be radiant with the unending love of God, the universe and all mankind.

Please feel free to pass this on to others.

I facilitate private one-on-one sessions in person, via phone, Skype or email. If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

The Energy of Food

2010-06-08T10:10:00.000-04:00

I'm sure I've talked before about how other people can feel our energy. It's not always what we are saying or the volume or tone of our voice that people react to. It's more often the energy with which the words are spoken.

Sometimes we needn't say anything, just enter a room and people know whether we are happy, sad, angry or depressed. The energy that we carry around can affect not only us but other people as well. And while it is up to each individual to take care of their own anger, sadness, guilt and fear, it's so much better when we project more positive energy out to the world. In fact, more positive energy sent out into the world would help the world heal a lot of what's ailing it right now.

So, keeping in mind that we all put out certain energies, whether it is positive or negative, let's look at food and how the preparation of food can be affected by our energy.

The energy that we are carrying, or feeling when we are preparing a meal for anyone, including ourselves, will be picked up by the food and passed on to those who consume it. Just as when we project angry energy it is not a loving thing to do and can be hurtful, so too can preparing a meal with resentment, anger or fear.

Have you ever eaten a meal and although it was a pretty plain and basic one, felt it was the best meal you'd ever eaten? Why do you suppose that is? Take a look at the person that prepared the meal. What is their energy like? Are they loving and passionate about cooking? Did they enjoy preparing the meal?

Putting loving energy into the meals and food we create can be healing for those who consume it. It is no different that putting loving intentions out to the world on a daily basis. This includes the food that you prepare for yourself and others.

Next time you prepare food, say a prayer, put loving intentions into it, ask for it to be healing for the person consuming it and make it an offering of love. You and others will notice the difference. The food just tastes better, just like life is better when you are feeling loved. Try it some time and you'll see.

I am launching a new line of chocolate based on this premise, called Evolution Chocolate. It is infused with healing Reiki energy and is heavenly tasting as well. You can find out more about it at: www.evolutionchocolate.com

Bettina

The Power of Affirmations

2010-06-04T09:26:00.000-04:00

I was always one to not pay much attention to all I've read about affirmations seeing them as merely lip service and not of much value in my life. Louise Hay writes a lot about affirmations and is a firm believer in them as are many other teachers and writers.

Recently, I attended the I Can Do It Toronto Conference and had the great pleasure to listen to several of the many great teachers that were presenting throughout the weekend. And there was one thread that seemed to weave through every one of those talks - affirmations.

A few days later the idea of affirmations came up again somewhere else. Following what I've learned, I sat up and took notice of the frequency with which this subject had appeared in my life.

So I thought I'd give it a try, especially since there were some things I was working through and I thought it a good opportunity to put it to the test. Pretty presumptuous of me to be putting God and the universe to the test but what the heck, it had been testing me for years!

I began with two simple affirmations that I could remember and I started repeating them whenever I remembered throughout the day. Then I added a few more and before long I had a nice little list of affirmations that would pass through my head on a regular basis becoming a regular litany for me.

And then things started to happen, doors began opening and better yet, I started to feel unstuck and more motivated. Who knew?

Every word we speak is an affirmation. If we say, "No one is calling me", "I never seem to have enough money", or "I’ll never find a man or woman to spend my life with" then that is the idea that we are putting out to the universe. We are affirming that we are not good enough, are in lack or not worthy.

Since we were children we have been using affirmations to build our belief system. If our parents told us we were bad little girls or boys because we got angry or didn't follow the rules. If the things we did never felt good enough or even if they talked about never having enough money, these were all affirmations that we chose to believe.

So if we are believing these affirmations that have been rattling around in our heads for years, then why can't we change the affirmations to something positive that will help us to have the life we desire.

Instead of attaching to the thought "No one is calling me" change it to "The calls are coming in every day." Instead of "I'll never find a man or woman to spend my life with," try, "The perfect partner for me is coming into my life." And instead of "I never seem to have enough money," use "I have more than enough money to enjoy my life." If you find yourself thinking something unkind about another person, change it to something positive that you like about them. Remember that everything we say is an affirmation.

Write your affirmations every morning, say them whenever you remember during the day, use them in meditation, or whenever you find yourself attaching to negative affirmations.

Notice the change in not only how you look at life but how life is changing for you.

Be inspired, feel peace and live the life you desire.

Bettina

What is Beauty?

2010-05-31T19:08:00.000-04:00

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But it is also said that beauty comes from within. If these statements are true then it all comes down to our perception and what we, individually, consider beautiful.

In order to call something beautiful we often use judgment to discern why one person or thing is beautiful while another is not. Why do we not see everything as beautiful? We are all divine creatures of God and in so being this makes us all beautiful. Because beauty comes from within, and what we feel and believe is what we see in the world, when we feel the beauty within ourselves we, as the beholder, will see the beauty in everything around us.

If we are perceiving everything in the world as anything less than beautiful then it is a good indication that we need to question how we see ourselves.

When you find yourself judging someone else or being critical of someone or something, look inside at how you are feeling about yourself. Be honest because you are only fooling yourself if you deny what you are really feeling. Look in the mirror and see your own beauty, feel the beauty and the love that comes from within and see how it changes the way you see the world.

Bettina

No Strings Attached - Acceptance

2010-05-19T15:50:00.000-04:00

The negative experiences we have in life are great platforms for learning. There is always a great lesson involved and it is great when we get the lesson. But sometimes, when the lesson is learned we often look for the reward that comes with the success of learning that lesson.

For instance, if we are struggling with finding our abundance, we can look at the situation and see that we need to accept what is in front of us, to understand that we are abundant, we are always taken care of and we never need to go without. This is a great lesson in acceptance. But if, once we learn to accept it we are expecting the money to flow in because we've learned the lesson, we are missing the point.

Accepting what is means exactly that - accepting what is in front of us in this moment. It doesn't mean accept it now but hope for more later. If we find ourselves in this situation, then we know that we have, in fact, not learned true acceptance.

A lot of us have been brought up with the reward and punishment style of discipline - if you are a good boy or girl you will be rewarded in one way or another and if you are a bad little boy or girl, you will be punished. This teaches us to judge ourselves as either good or bad, right or wrong.

What if we accepted what is - who we are, how we behave and what we feel. There would be no judgment, no reward or punishment, no fallout. The prize would simply be the peace that we feel within.

There is no greater prize. There is nothing else that we need but to feel that peace. And that peace comes in accepting what is, in this moment, no strings attached.

Can you accept what is right now without expecting something to come from the act of acceptance in the future?

Let go of the outcome – this is as good as it gets – find peace in this.

Bettina

Forgiveness Brings Us Peace

2010-05-14T11:09:00.000-04:00

When we are living through our pain, that is allowing our negative beliefs to run our lives, we are not connected to our peace and we are in a state of suffering.

In doing so we usually end up doing or saying things we regret. For instance, if we don’t feel good enough we may look for ways to feel better about ourselves. This may cause us to talk about others in a negative way which can hurt other people. As much as we are not responsible for others’ pain, it still doesn’t feel good to put another person down. And so, although we may feel good for a moment, eventually guilt will find its way into our thought process and we will be weighed down with the shame of what we’ve done.

On the other hand, if we look after our feeling of not being good enough, we can connect to our source of love and feel the peace it brings. From this connection our choices will always be loving and compassionate.

The problem we sometimes face is that we have many instances in our lives when we acted in a less than loving way. These experiences cause guilt to be ever-present in our mind and body, perpetuating the belief that we are not good enough.

And once again we exist in a state of suffering.

How do we let go of the guilt? Where is the peace we desire?

The peace is always within us waiting to be felt. But the cause of the suffering has buried it beneath the pain, in this case, guilt.

By allowing ourselves to feel the guilt fully instead of pushing back it back inside or running from it, we can let go of the belief that creates the guilt.

Close your eyes and visualize the person you hurt and speak to them about how you feel. Write a letter to them allowing your feelings to be expressed freely.

Then forgive the other person and yourself and feel your heart open as you connect to your source of love within.

Feel compassion for yourself and the other person. See how their actions, like yours, came from a place of pain.

Feel the peace that comes with forgiveness and letting go.

Remember this connection when you are faced with similar experiences in the future.

Today, take a look at those you need to forgive and those that you feel need to forgive you. Forgive the others and yourself, knowing that it is the person you are forgiving, not the action itself.

If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

What Being a Mother Can Teach Us

2010-05-07T09:26:00.000-04:00

For most women the dream of becoming a mother is one that they cherish and hope to one day come true. It is that nurturing spirit within us that draws us to this role and is the way in which we can most exercise this spirit.

We look forward to bringing a beautiful tiny perfect person into the world whom we can love and take care of and teach. It is one of the most important roles we can ever take on in our lives.

As our children grow we teach them what it is to be fully in this human experience that we are having. We teach them about love and life and everything in between.

By our own example we teach them how to act, react, and behave in different circumstances. Most times we are not aware of just how much our children are picking up from us in our daily lives.

Children are like little sponges, watching, taking in all that is happening around them and mimic those things that they decide are good for them.

As mothers it is important for us to always be aware of how we are feeling, reacting and behaving so that we are always showing our children that we are acting from our best and purest intentions.

Knowing that they are watching everything we do and listening to everything we say can teach us to be conscious and aware of what we're feeling so we don't pass it on to them.

And out of the mouths of babes…

Our children often, in their purity of nature, say things to us in the simplest ways that ring true more than anything else we've heard. Sometimes we don't pay attention, but if we really listen and pay attention to what they are telling us, we can learn so much about who we are and how to live peacefully in this life.

They can show us how to love in that innocent childlike way, how a simple smile of joy can express more beauty than all the models in the world, how to be playful and have fun, how to look at things without all the complications of the pain we've accumulated over the years, how to be present, and how to express and release what we are feeling so that we can be content with each moment just as it is.

As mother's day approaches and we look at how important our mothers were in teaching us so much, we can also look at our beautiful children and celebrate their willingness to travel this road with us sharing their own special wisdom and joy.

Happy Mother's Day to all who are mothers out there.

If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Change in the World Begins Within

2010-04-27T16:00:00.000-04:00

There is always talk about how the world needs to change. There is so much anger and hatred in the world and we all want to see more peace and love spread throughout this earth of ours.

We sometimes get stuck in a place of no change because we want to see global change and we don’t believe we can do anything alone to create it. But what if everyone had the same thought? What if we all got stuck in that place and never did anything to shift our own consciousness? The world would continue to be rife with disaster, death and hatred.

It only takes one small step to start a shift that can inspire the world. One simple change like a pebble in a lake that causes ripples to move outward and affect everyone around us.

We cannot change the world outwardly. We cannot go out into our surroundings and force people to change how they think and feel. We can only change what we think and feel within ourselves.

If we feel anger, we will see anger in the world. If we feel fear, we will see fear. If we feel hatred, hatred will show up in our lives.

The prayer of St. Francis of Assisi is a strong testament as to how we can see and effect changes in the world:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Unconditional love and peace is the one thing that will bring forth love and peace in the world. When we find it and connect with it inside ourselves we will see it in the world.

Allow yourself to let go of anger, hatred and fear and feel the love and peace that is the truth of who you are.

If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Conscious Living

2010-04-26T15:53:00.000-04:00

Conscious Living and relationships are such an important way to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
Recently Peter and I were interviewed about Conscious Living. Enjoy!

Bettina

Blame

2010-04-21T10:33:00.001-04:00

Blame is one of the biggest issues that we come up against in our daily life. We seem to have gotten the idea that the world is there to make us happy. And when that doesn't happen we lay the blame out in the world as well, through other people, places or events that we think are the cause of our unhappiness.

Everything we feel comes from within us. We create it and we live through it. If we create unhappiness for ourselves the world will show us that unhappiness, but if we create joy, peace and love for ourselves, this is what we will see reflected back.

So, how does blame fit in to this mix? Simply, it doesn't. When we get angry at another person for doing something that brings up our anger, fear or hurt, we are doing nothing more than projecting the anger we feel at ourselves for not taking better care of what we are feeling, for not nurturing our own self and if necessary standing up for ourselves from that tranquil, peaceful place inside.

We have choices. We don't always think we do. But there are always choices - we sometimes would rather take the easier of the choices, the ones that keep us in our comfort zone. But how comfortable is it really when we are then triggered by someone else's behaviour?

Sometimes we just have to go beyond our comfort zone which may mean facing some things about ourselves that we don't like. Perhaps we are feeling like a victim and don't stand up for ourselves or speak up when we are not feeling respect. Maybe we are afraid of a situation so we run away from it instead of empowering ourselves by facing it with inner strength.

Whatever the issue is, we have a choice every day to face it with fear, anger, guilt, or shame or with love, compassion, and peace. We can take responsibility for our own emotional wellbeing or we can give that power to someone else and then resent it.

How will you walk into your day?

If you are interested in our upcoming weekly Group Meetings, workshops, meditation classes or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

It's All About the Drama

2010-04-06T12:04:00.005-04:00

Our lives can often be filled with drama not only our own dramas but those of others as well. We can get caught up in something that another person is sharing with us and we make it ours. We get so involved in the situation that we end up doing or saying things that are not loving and kind. Or we get so embroiled in our own drama we can't find our way out.

We get caught up in the drama, we talk about it over and over again, keeping the negative energy of the experience alive. "How could he say that to me?" or "I can’t believe they treated me that way." We figure that if we just get it out, vent a bit, it will go away. And yet we find ourselves repeating over and over again the same story until even we can't stand to hear it. The story lives on and we make it a part of our identity.

Giving a negative experience too much air time can only serve to keep us in a negative state holding on to a victim mentality. Dwelling on the drama puts us into a place where we feel that we are being done wrong, that the particular situation was created in order to offend, hurt, disappoint, anger or upset us.

This is a time when trying to see things from the other person's perspective can help. Maybe the other person felt angry, hurt, disappointed, or afraid. Maybe something happened previously that brought up these emotions for them and they were reacting from that emotion.

We do not always know what is behind another person's actions or words. Unless we ask, or try to get clarity in a situation, we will not be able to resolve the issue not only with them but within ourselves.

If the experience is bringing up negative emotions in us, we must look at why they were triggered and look at healing that issue within us.

Try to see the situation from the other person's point of view. Look at what it is in you that causes you to react to the situation the way you do. There is usually something deeper behind the reaction – look for it, find your way through it and in doing so find the compassion you need for yourself as well as the other person.

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.

Bettina

Moving Out of Anger

2010-03-23T15:12:00.000-04:00

We all experience anger at some point in our lives. Anger is a reaction to an event or experience that didn't go as we expected or planned or something that we don't want to look at in ourselves. When we feel that something is out of our control or we've been treated wrongly, we usually react with anger. Something doesn't go as we'd like or someone says something that makes us feel bad and we find ourselves yelling, slamming things around, physically or emotionally abusing someone else, or suppressing it and using passive-aggressive behavior. Anger can also come in the guise of frustration, resentment and sarcasm.
We think that it was the other person's fault when we feel angry but putting blame on someone else only prolongs the inevitable and daunting task of looking within ourselves to find the source of the anger. Yes, someone else's angry or aggressive behavior can trigger us and bring up the anger, but it's all ours to deal with. And when I say it's inevitable that we look at that anger, I mean it whether we suppress it for so long and eventually all the suppressed anger explodes out of us or we are constantly directing our anger on others and taking it out on them. It not only affects our emotional and physical well-being, but it can affect others including our children.
Besides getting angry at others never makes us feel better. In fact it can create many other emotions such as guilt (for behaving in such a socially unacceptable way).
We are taught when we are children that being angry is not nice and that it is unacceptable behaviour and while projecting it at others is not good, actually feeling anger is absolutely fine. In fact it is a very normal human response to some situations. That being said, too often we say, "I'm angry," thus identifying ourselves with being an angry person. But anger does not make us who we are. Who we are is not defined by the amount of anger we carry around. Beneath the anger is a kind, compassionate, loving, peaceful soul. Letting go of the anger allows you to reconnect with that soul.
Anger is a mask of false bravado to hide the vulnerability we are feeling inside - fear, guilt, self-worth. In any situation we are usually looking for a feeling to come from it. If we don’t get that expected feeling, such as happiness, confirmation of feeling good enough, love, security and cannot express it, we react with anger.
Ways to deal with anger:

Be aware and honest about what you are feeling. Sometimes we don't even realize we are angry because we've suppressed it.
Take responsibility for your own anger – don't blame the other person.
Don't judge it. We are taught when we are children that anger is bad. It is not wrong to feel anger. Acknowledge it. Sometimes just realizing and acknowledging you are feeling angry can diffuse it and prevent an outburst.
Find ways to release the anger in a healthy way - a punching bag, going off by yourself and screaming it out. Then let it go.
Don't talk about the person or experience that made you angry over and over. Once you've released it, don't bring it up again. Talking about it all the time only keeps the feeling alive and the resentment will build up.
Say what you need to say in a loving, peaceful way. If you can't do that immediately, take care of the anger and then tell the other person.
Remember that there are two sides to every story and you may not know what is going on with the other person. Assuming you know will cause conflict.
Write a letter to the other person to express how you feel and then throw it away
Forgive yourself and the other person.

Ways to deal with someone else's anger:
Breathe
Don't take it personally
See the situation from the other person's perspective
Try to stay calm
Don't react - respond
Use kindness to diffuse the anger
Don't judge the other person
Don't plug in to their anger with your own
Recognize that you can't change the other person
Be aware of anything you may be feeling so you can let it go
Tell them you'd love to discuss the situation when they are feeling more calm
If you or the other person is still angry, remove yourself from the situation until you have calmed down and feel you can discuss the situation calmly.
Anger is not power. We are not gaining power by being angry, in fact we are giving our power away when we allow ourselves to get pulled into an angry exchange.
If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.
Bettina

Spring – A Time for Renewal and New Life

2010-03-16T11:39:00.000-04:00

What is it about spring that makes us want to open all the windows, clear out the cobwebs and get outside? The temperatures are not yet warm enough to go without a coat and the ground is still dark and wet.
But, ah, the smell of the sun warming the soil, the sighting of new buds on the trees and spring bulbs bursting forth from the soil sets our hearts to yearning for the outdoors.
There is something about witnessing new life in nature that beckons us to renew our own stale beliefs and routines. The promise of new life gives us hope that we can find the peace that we are looking for.
And so with this rebirth we can look within ourselves to explore what no longer works for us in our lives. To let go of the old dead wood and make way for the blossoming of a new outlook, new beliefs that support us in every way, allowing us to remove the heaviness of our winter wear and feel the freedom of the lightness that comes with shaking off old negative habits.
Take a look at what doesn't work. What beliefs are you carrying around from childhood that may once have worked for you but are no longer needed or serving you? Examine and explore them, recognizing that they are not to your benefit anymore and replace them with something that is more beneficial.
Our beliefs are what create our emotions. Letting go of the negative beliefs will help to release the negative emotions of the past so that you can feel more peace within. Letting go of old beliefs will also allow you to let go of relying on anyone else to make you feel good about yourself. You can feel good all the time without waiting for validation from the world.
Spring cleaning inside and out can be the key to a more relaxing, fun and joyous life.
If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.
Bettina Goodwin

Getting Out of the Loop of Bad Relationships

2010-03-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever asked yourself why you keep attracting the same bad relationships? What is it about you that seems to always creates experiences of disrespect, abandonment, neglect and just plain bad manners with a partner?
Similar actions create similar results. If you never change the way you do things, what you believe about yourself and the world, or your ability to speak up honestly with compassion, you will continue to have the same experiences over and over again. If you find yourself in a bad relationship, ask yourself what it is that you are doing that may need to change.
Are you allowing yourself to be treated badly and not speaking up for yourself? If you are, why do you suppose this is happening? Is there a fear of speaking up? Are you afraid of not being loved, approved of or good enough?
Everything experience you have in life is created by you based on your belief system. Your ability to attract a wonderful, loving, compassionate partner comes from what you believe about yourself and the world around you.
If you don’t get respect from your partner look at whether you respect yourself? Respecting yourself means speaking up when you feel you are being treated unfairly.
If you are being abused emotionally or physically, are you taking care of yourself by leaving the abusive situation instead of remaining a victim?
The power to have your needs met comes from the strength inside that allows you to take care of yourself with grace, wisdom, love and peace.
Anger is not power – lashing out at someone is actually giving your power away and comes from resentment inside about how you are being treated. Look at the way you are being treated as a guide to what you are feeling inside and shift that feeling and the belief.
Be what you want to attract. If you want respect, be respectful to yourself and others. If you want peace, act and speak with peace. If you want kindness, act with kindness.
If you don’t want to attract someone with negative traits, then let go of the negative traits in you. Release the bad feelings, anger, guilt, resentment, and fear.
Write a journal that reflects the kind of life you want to live with your partner. Read it and recognize the parts of you that are attractive and that will help to create this life.
Be open to every experience that comes your way and be aware of those that do not serve you.
Change your experiences from the inside out.
If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.
Bettina

That Winning Spirit

2010-03-02T14:26:00.001-05:00

With the Olympics just having finished and Canada having such a great showing with a record-breaking 14 gold medals, you may dream about what it must be like to stand on the podium as you hear your country's anthem being played.
You may even wonder how an athlete can be so focused and passionate about getting up each day and practicing, training and working hard to some day reach that podium.
They may be drawn to snowboard, figure skate or in general test their bodies to the limit, but what's interesting is that we are no different than these athletes on the inside. We can be drawn to test ourselves in many different areas of our lives. The question is do we stand up to the challenge, face the fears, the self-doubt and the reality that it might take some work to excel in whatever our passion is.
It could be something as interesting as flying a plane or it could be something as abstract as solving the latest Sudoku puzzle. We don't become great at anything unless we spend time practicing, training and working on honing our skills.
The difference between those who go after Olympic Gold and those who choose not to pursue their dream is that they have the winning spirit. The winning spirit consists of not only a passion for what they do, but a belief that anything is possible and will happen.
They never dwell on the self-doubt, the negative possibilities or worry about what would happen if they don't win. They build on the belief that they can and will win. And when they falter in their resolve to follow through, they have an inner strength that guides them back on course.
What is your passion? Is it a dream or can you see yourself making it a reality?
Carl Jung said, "Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
Look inside at what is keeping you from making your dreams a reality. Push past the blocks that keep you stuck on the dream and face the fear that holds you back. Find that winning spirit that sends you forward to accomplish the great things you are meant to do.
If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960 .
Bettina

The Flip Side

2010-02-22T14:31:00.001-05:00

We usually look at experiences and relationships from our own perspective. Of course this is how it should be as it is our perspective through which we are seeing all of life.

But it can get us into trouble at times. And it can cause us some pain especially if we take what someone else says or does too personally. It's probably wise to remember that whatever someone else says or does comes through their own filter of whatever pain or joy they are feeling in that moment.

Whether we are triggered by it or feel good about it, it's also probably coming through our own filter of pain or joy. Of course it doesn't always feel good, but that's what life is all about - the joy and the pain.

We can get caught up in what the other person has done and take it very personally as if it is something that has been done intentionally to against us. But is that really the truth?

More often than not - ok usually always - if someone says something that hurts you, there is probably something more going on with that person than what is showing on the surface.

Why not take a look at things from the other person's perspective, trying to imagine what they might be going through or feeling to create the behavior. Maybe they are going through a rough time and don't know how to expel the feelings of frustration or fear. Maybe, they have just received some bad news, someone in their family has died, or they are just plain not feeling good about themselves on this particular day.

If we can look at things from the other person's perspective, we are less apt to take what they say or do personally and in doing so, we can have compassion for what they might be going through or feeling and give them the space to allow it to run its course.

Meeting anger, resentment, fear or guilt with kindness and compassion can diffuse any possible explosion that might occur if both parties are reacting from their pain.

The next time you experience conflict with another person, try to see the flip side and imagine what the other person might be feeling. It can be the difference between pain and peace.

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes or private one-on-one, group or couples sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

And the Band Played On

2010-02-15T11:06:00.000-05:00

In the movie Titanic, while the ship was sinking and passengers were running scared and panicked to find a way to save their lives, the band stoically stood on deck and continued playing. It was a small gesture to try to bring some peace to a chaotic situation.

In life, we often find ourselves in the midst of chaos, or at the very least, things are not going as we envisioned. We scramble to try to make sense of what is happening, often try to control the situation and even try to change the outcome. Sometimes that brings us even more struggle and we're no farther ahead then we were before.

One thing that we often don't realize during this struggle and chaos is that we have a band of our own playing within us. It is always there behind the pain, the anguish and the questions that life puts before us. It is peace.

When we are going through tough times, we find ourselves wishing that we could have just a moment's peace from what is going on. The ego or chattering mind often wants to keep us in a state of chaos, it is our sinking ship. Do we want to listen to the ego? Or do we want to connect to our source which provides us with unlimited peace?

We have a choice. We don't always believe we do or we don't always like the choices we have but we always have a choice. We can listen to the ego that loves chaos, fear, anger and guilt or we can listen to our heart and feel the peace, love and joy that come from our source.

Struggle or peace - which will you choose?

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit our website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Valentine's Day - Not Just for Lover's Anymore

2010-02-10T16:06:00.006-05:00

Some people love Valentine's Day and yet others would rather it didn't exist claiming it is merely another money making scheme of the greeting card companies.

But it is a day when we can celebrate the love we have for our spouse, partner, family and friends and most importantly for ourselves. Another argument to that would be that we should be remembering to do that every day of the year. And although this is true, it not always occurs.

So let's talk about why. Relationships are tricky things. They often start off with a bang - passion, fire, romance and love. We feel all these things with our new mate and we love the feeling that it brings us. But we don't always understand that the love and passion we feel isn't coming from the other person. It is our own love and passion that we feel within us and the other person is merely reflecting the love back to us, bringing it up for us.

Staying connected to this love isn't always easy. Stuff comes up - life happens and we don't always handle it in the best way. We do, however, handle it in the best way WE know how and so it is perfect.

It gives us the opportunity to let go of those things so we can again feel the connection and every day can be Valentine's Day. We can feel that same wonderful feeling that we felt at the beginning of our relationship because it is in us all the time whether we are with someone or single.

Even though we enjoy life and being with our partner every day, we still celebrate the day we were born or the day we were married each year. It doesn't mean we only acknowledge it on that day, but we take the time to celebrate it with honor.

Whether you are single or with someone Valentine's Day is a wonderful reminder to us to stay connected to the unlimited supply of love we have inside that we can share with not only our partner but the world. Embrace the day and feel the love you have so the world can see and feel it too.

Happy Valentine's Day with love...

Bettina

If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

2010-02-09T11:57:00.001-05:00

There are many ways in which we run from our problems. We find distractions such as food, drink, gambling, sex, partying, television, you name it and there is a distraction for everyone.
We sometimes think that these things will distract us and help us to forget our problems, but the unfortunate thing is that these distractions only serve to prolong the inevitable which is facing our problems and issues head on.
Say you have broken up with your partner or spouse. This is a devastating situation and can bring up all sorts of emotions from anger to guilt and sadness. We can grab that carton of ice cream or head to the bar with our buddies but that only masks the emotions temporarily.
Eventually they will arise and hit you right in the heart often at the least appropriate moment. We are driving down the road and someone cuts us off and the anger coming rushing out at the other driver. Or we are at work and our boss criticizes something we’ve done and we run to the bathroom in tears. Does this sound familiar?
What can we do to avoid this kind of situation from arising? We sometimes think that there is nothing that we can do to prevent it and yet many people do.
We can vent to our friends about what is bothering us and put the blame on someone else and boy doesn’t it feel good to have them agree with us and tell us what a jerk that guy was or what a bitch she was. But that good feeling is fleeting and doesn’t last.
If we had no one to vent to, what would happen? The emotions would all be stuck inside us trying to push their way up and in the silence of our own space, they become deafening and hard to ignore.
Take some time to be in silence with what has happened, allow yourself to feel what wants to come up and acknowledge it without judgment. Don’t hide from the emotions that need to be nurtured and felt. By running away, they are always chasing you. Stop running and find the compassion for yourself to feel it all and then it is much easier to let it go along with the belief that has created it.
Joy comes from the honesty about what you’re feeling and the compassionate release of it all.
Recognize the addiction that is your distraction from feeling the pain. This will be your freedom and will lead you to joy.
If you are interested in our weekly meditation classes, one-on-one, couple or family sessions please call River Oaks Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic at 905-257-9960.
Bettina

Out of the Wreckage Comes Love

2010-02-01T14:09:00.000-05:00

With all that has been happening in Haiti these past few weeks, the focus has been on helping the people there to rebuild what has been destroyed in the earthquakes. They have suffered losses of lives, injuries, losses of homes and the emotional anguish that they are experiencing must be devastating.

But even though it may be hard to admit that it could have brought forth something good, there has definitely been some beauty that has arisen from this tragedy. People have come together in love and peace to help those who have been affected by the earthquakes. They have put aside their differences and become united in their efforts to help.

In our own lives we sometimes feel that things have fallen apart, and we lie helpless beneath the heaviness of our own pain. We find it difficult to smile or feel the happiness and gratitude for what we have. We often get so caught up in the negative things that are happening that we forget about all the good things in our lives.

But without feeling pain or going through adversity, we may never understand what true love is - the love that comes from the deepest part of ourselves, the love that is our connection to our source, unending, unconditional and absolute.

It is in allowing ourselves to fully feel this pain, sometimes more painful than anything we’ve ever felt, that brings us through the wreckage of our lives and leads us to this love.

Unless we face the darkness, we cannot fully understand the light. Unless we feel our pain, we cannot know what it is like to be healed. And in this healing we learn compassion, unconditional love and we feel the joy of this experience called life.

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

Time Can Heal the Past

2010-01-25T12:09:00.001-05:00

The great thing about the passage of time is that we can use it to learn more about ourselves, the world and the people in it.

We are always doing the best we can with the information we have in the moment, but if we keep reaching out to learn more and more about ourselves, we can evolve and improve our way of interacting, of reacting and connecting with others.

We generally know when something isn’t working for us and when this happens we have a choice to either change the way we do it or repeat the same experience over again. We know what the outcome of repeating will give us because we’ve already seen it. Sometimes we feel more comfortable with it than doing something new and different but that is just our fear of not knowing what is coming even if it might be something good.

If we let go of whatever it is that is keeping us stuck in the same repetitive and negative experiences, we can take the time to face our pain and move through it. In doing so we can make a choice to do things differently than before perhaps with a more positive mindset and belief system which will reap a more positive outcome.

Bring the past forward and allow yourself to feel the pain that it may have brought you. Recognize that it is unnecessary to hold on to this pain and let it go. Allow yourself to reinvent the belief that was negative and create something more positive within yourself. This will help to create more positive experiences for you in the present and future.

Make time your friend. See how the present is the only place that matters. And enjoy the freedom that comes with letting go of past pain.

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Bettina

If At First You Don't Succeed - Accept What Is

2010-01-18T14:27:00.001-05:00

Now before you get all upset about the fact that I mean you have to give up, that’s not what this is about.

We have great plans for ourselves most of the time and we have a good idea of what we want out of life, where we see our life going and how it will all play out. And most of the time it is with great success, lots of friends, a lovely place to live, a great car and surrounded by family.

These are all wonderful aspirations, but what happens if these things do not come to pass? How do you feel about things then?

There are many times when we pin our hopes, happiness and measure our success by certain accomplishments that we have deemed to bring us the feeling that we want – usually security or happiness. And when we don’t get these things, we feel dejected, angry, unhappy, not good enough, unsupported or not safe.

When we look to the world to provide these feelings to us, we will most likely be disappointed or feel resentment.

Finding the feeling of security, success, happiness or love within ourselves can lead us to a much happier life overall. We never have to have expectations of the world around us and we are never disappointed.

And best of all we are in a better position to accept all that is happening around us, whether it is good or bad. It’s always easy to accept what is when things are going good. But what about when things are not going well? Is it possible to accept what is? Can you see the value of what is happening even if it is not part of your game plan? Can you feel happy, safe, successful and supported even when the chips are down?

Feel all of these things from within and it will never matter what is happening around you because it will not affect how you feel. This is the ideal way to be in life.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t get up, dust yourself off and try again. It means you accept what is in this moment because chances are you can’t change what has happened. And then you try again, or try something new.

Life is always there waiting for you to enjoy it. All you have to do is accept what it is providing.

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at http://www.thesoulconnection.ca/

Bettina

The Soul Connection

2010-01-13T12:26:00.000-05:00

We all have it, we just don’t always know how to get to it or keep it. And when stressful things are happening around us or we are confronted with someone who is angry, we wish we could feel it. We look for it out in the world and yet we never seem to find it there. We long for it and sometimes struggle because we cannot find it.

What is it?

The Soul Connection.

The soul connection is the love, peace, tranquility, compassion, happiness, kindness and joy that live in limitless quantities within us. When we connect with this part of ourselves we never have to search for it out in the world.

Ten ways to make the soul connection:

1. Know your value is limitless
2. Know that you are worthy of all the universe has to offer
3. Tell someone you love them even if they are not being kind.
4. Make the choice to respond to anger with peace and kindness
5. Accept what is before you in the present moment
6. Acknowledge your own negative feelings and release them
7. Feel gratitude for each moment
8. Let go of past heartaches
9. Be compassionate for you do not know what the other person may be going through.
10. Feel the joy of each moment, each day.

If we let go of anything from our past that has kept us from feeling good, we can have the soul connection.

A Smile Goes a Long Way

2010-01-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

Often in life, there are days when we don’t even want to get out of bed, let alone get on with our day. We can look at the day ahead as something to dread or we can change our vision of what it will be with a breath.

This is merely a matter of changing your perspective. When you wake up in the morning, think of the brand new day and smile. And feel how that smile changes what you feel inside.

Now, take that smile out into the world with you and each time you see or meet another person, smile. How does it feel? It’s kind of hard to be miserable when you’re smiling isn’t it? And it’s very rare that you don’t get a smile in return from someone else.

How about when you answer the phone – before you pick up the phone, put a smile on your face. Doesn’t it change the whole energy of the conversation? Of you?

A smile can go a long way to help shift from negative thinking and feeling, to a more positive one. Even if you aren’t really feeling it inside, you can “fake it till you make it” as they say because eventually, it will feel real and it will feel good.

There is something about a smile that can change everything not only for you but for someone else. It may be the one act of kindness that shifts another person’s day.

Keep smiling!

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Happy New Year!

2009-12-26T11:35:00.000-05:00

Christmas is over and most people are probably settling down to a much needed rest on this boxing day. Enjoy the peace and silence that lies waiting for you to explore.

May each day of 2010 find you filled with the peace, happiness and love that shines from within.

Enjoy the magic of the season all year through, laugh with friends, love with family and share the wonderful happy memories of the past as you make great new ones for the future.

Happy New Year everyone!

Relationship Rescue Holiday Style

2009-12-14T12:10:00.001-05:00

Traditionally the holidays are meant to be a time of peace, love and celebration. But it seems that in more recent years it has become a more stressful time with people over taxing themselves with too much shopping, money worries and rushing around.

When this happens it can be very hard on relationships. Stress can bring so much tension and other discord to a marriage or partnership. You’ve probably experienced it at some point during the holiday rush. You are rushing from store to store to find the perfect gift, the credit card is practically wearing out from overuse, the decorations are all over the living floor waiting to be put up and you just don’t have the energy to do it all after a full day’s work at home or at the office. Your spouse or partner comes home and you let them have it!

Well, it’s time to lighten up, to go back to a time when it was far more important to be together with loved ones than it was to spend thousands of dollars on gifts and then stress about how you were going to pay for it all after the holidays.

Here are 10 things you can do to lighten up this holiday season:

1. Learn to say “NO”. You may find yourself wanting to say, “Yes” to every invitation, request for assistance, lunch or dinner date, shopping expedition because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or you feel obligated to attend a party. When this happens resentment can sneak in. Take care of yourself by answering truthfully when you receive a request or invitation and if you really feel you can’t push yourself any further, it’s ok to say, “No.”
2. Cut down on spending. More is not always better. Sometimes a very thoughtful, inexpensive gift can be a much more heartfelt way to tell someone you care about them and are thinking of them during the holidays. It may be cliché but a book of certificates for future favors is an ideal heartfelt gift.
3. Downsizing is sometimes a good thing. If you find yourself strapped for time, why not go by the old saying that less is more. Bring out fewer decorations this year. Simple elegance can sometimes be much cozier and warm than putting out every decoration you have. Keep it simple and less time consuming.
4. Check out your local bakery. If you don’t have time to bake up a storm but still want the benefits of having those delicious holiday goodies around, check out what your local grocery store or bakery have in fresh made cookies and cakes.
5. Take some time for you. The first person that becomes a target of the effects of holiday stress is you. You get run down, leaving yourself open for illness and next thing you know you are spending Christmas day in bed and all you’ve worked so hard for is lost. Get proper sleep, rest and enjoy yourself!
6. Take some time for your partner. The second person who suffers is your partner. You may find yourself loosing your temper or lashing out at them for no apparent reason. Take some time at the end of each day to share what your day was like and to support each other as much as possible.
7. Breathe. It may sound almost too simple but sometimes in all the stress, proper breathing is one of the things that can be disrupted. Take a moment each hour to breathe fully five or six times.
8. Accept some help from your partner. One of the hardest things to do is accept help from someone else. But it can lessen your load and it can be fun to do a project or even chores with your partner and it’s a great way to spend time together.
9. Be Aware. Try to be conscious of what you are feeling and what you need each moment of the day. It’s amazing how just being aware can shift an experience from stressful to joyful.
10. Feel the Joy!!! Feel the joy of giving and receiving. Smile at strangers, drop a coin in the collection outside the grocery store, take your kids to see Santa. And most of all allow the joy to fill you with the magic of the holidays.

When you become aware of what you need and how you are feeling, you give yourself the opportunity to take care of yourself. This is the most important thing you can do to keep the Grinch out of your holiday experience.

May you be filled with the joy and peace that this holiday season brings and carry it with you through the year.

Beliefs and the Energy They Create

2009-11-26T10:44:00.002-05:00

Here I am again, talking about beliefs, but they are such a key ingredient in how we are in the world, that it bears repeating – over and over again!

Our belief system is what creates the blueprint for our lives. We watch our parents and those around us as children and we decide what works for others. We then choose which beliefs will work for us and we adopt them as our own.

And off we go into the world, armed with everything we think we need to get along.

Eventually, we start to realize that things aren't working out quite the way we expected them to. We attract experiences that we don't like, we feel unhappy with our friends or partner, we feel unfulfilled in our career, we are looking for love, peace and joy. We just want to be happy!

And yet we never seem to know how to find that happiness. We look in the world, we buy things and enter into relationships with people, all with the belief that these are the things that will make us happy. And they do for a while but eventually it fades again and we are left looking for something else that will make us happy. We get into a bit of a loop, doing this over and over again.

One day we get fed up with the same old, same old and we decide that there has to be a better way. What is that better way? How can we find the happiness we desire and keep it!

The first thing is that in the moments when we do feel happy, that happy feeling is not coming from anything in the world around us. We are actually connecting to our own source of happiness inside. If we no longer feel happy after a time, it is because we have forgotten that connection in ourselves.

Whether we are feeling happy or unhappy, guilty, angry or afraid, we send out an energy to the world that matches these emotions and thoughts.

People can feel this energy, even if they aren't conscious of it and will react to it in kind. This only ends up perpetuating the emotional energy and nothing changes in the world or in us.

Letting go of the beliefs that are creating negative feelings and thoughts can help us shift the energy that we project into the world. Feeling gratitude for all that we have in our lives can help to shift the feelings, thoughts and beliefs and allow us to create more loving energy within, which then is shared.

Allow yourself the privilege of feeling joy and love and sending joyful loving energy out to the world and watch the reflection of it coming back to you.

Have a wonderful week of joy!

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Similar Actions Produce Similar Results

2009-11-17T11:26:00.003-05:00

At some point in our lives we have all said to ourselves or someone else, "Why do I keep attracting the same type of people into my life", or "Why am I always having the same experiences over and over again".

We all go through this. We all reach a point in our lives when we realize and understand what we're doing is not working for us anymore. But what can we do about it?

As I've mentioned many times before, our belief system is the driving force behind our actions and experiences in our lives. These beliefs that we adopted when we were young children have become so ingrained in us that we have a hard time even recognizing them let alone questioning them.

And if our beliefs are what is causing us to behave in a certain way, then doesn't it make sense that unless we change these beliefs, then nothing in our life will change either?

If we continue to speak or act in the same way time after time, we will continue to have the same experiences over and over again. If our self-worth is low we will attract people and experiences that will confirm this belief. If we are angry all the time, there is no doubt we will constantly meet up with angry people from day to day.

If we act the same way day after day, we will get the same results each time. If we don't change the way we behave, think and believe, nothing will ever change for us. It will be very easy to predict our own future just by how things were in the past.

So if you want things in your life to change, if you want to stop attracting situations and people that you don't like, take a look at what you are feeling, thinking and the beliefs that may be creating these feelings and thoughts. This is the key to changing what you attract into your life.

Try something different; let each action or word come from the highest intention for good. Allow your open heart to create your experiences for you. From this place you will always find peace, love and joy.

Have a wonderful week of new and exciting experiences!

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Identifying With an Image

2009-11-05T11:52:00.002-05:00

So what do you think of yourself? We all have certain images of who we are and how we present ourselves to the world. And we all have an image of how the world sees us.

When we are small we adopt a set of beliefs that are the driving force behind everything we do in our lives. These beliefs cause us to create certain images of ourselves that we are constantly putting out into the world. "I am a good girl", "I'm a bad boy", "I am a victim", and on and on it goes.

Once the image is created, we then act in such a way that validates this image. If we believe we are the good girl, we will go about trying to prove this to the world. And what do we look for in return? Simply, we look for the world to validate this image - to show us our value.

There is no place out in the world that makes us feel valued, worthy, loved or peaceful. Those feelings come from within, from our source, the centre of all that is. We can create an image in order to find these emotions out in the world, but it will never be enough. We will always look for more.

And it doesn't matter if the image is good or bad because creating and showing an image is merely the ego's way of looking for reinforcement.

In effect, identifying with an image only causes suffering because every moment when we are not connected to our source of peace and love within, we are searching for something in the world. And we never get it from the world. What we get is suffering.

Even the most unconscious thought can create an image. What if you were to say, "I have a bad memory"? This is a belief, an image of yourself that you have put out into the world. And each time you want to remember something, you have the thought, "I have a bad memory." What happens? Chances are you don't remember a darn thing.

What if you changed that thought to "I have a great memory"? Or what if you didn't even bother judging your memory at all? How much easier would life be to not have to worry about keeping up an image of yourself?

Letting go of the images that we identify with can allow us to connect with our source of love and peace and in doing so, be in the world without judgment, criticism or negative thoughts.

Our intentions would be pure and loving, our hearts would be open and compassionate and we would have less stress, less pain and less suffering. Ultimately we would be more authentic in our lives.

What is your image of yourself? There are probably several images that you carry with you. How do you see yourself? Write down some of the images you have of yourself.

How do you think others see you? Write down some of the images you think others have of you.

How do you feel about this image? What are you looking for in the world when you put this image across? Write down how you feel.

What is the belief that is creating these feelings? Write it down. Is this belief true? Chances are it’s not. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up. Let yourself freely accept the emotions and acknowledge them. Then let go of the mistaken belief. Forgive anyone who may have made you feel not good about yourself. Forgive yourself for this mistaken belief. Feel the freedom of release.

Have a wonderful authentic week.

If you are interested in our monthly Spiritual Group Meetings, workshops or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Living in Lack

2009-09-04T11:18:00.004-04:00

We can often find ourselves filled with desire for things in our lives at different times. We want that new cell phone, a wonderful partner, a bigger house, more money, or even just enough to get by. We spend a lot of time focusing on not having these things, and trying to control situations so that we can have them.

We think that these things are what will make us happy. That without them we will never feel fulfilled, happy, loved or at peace. This is living in lack. That feeling that we are being deprived of happiness or love because we don't have something or someone in our lives to make it all better.

What we don't always realize is that what we really want is security and love and that these emotions are not found outside in the world, but within us. We don't always feel it within because we are so focused on the lack of things that we think will make it better.

And what we focus on fills our vision. So if we focus on what we don't have, that is all we will see.

But what if we began to focus on the love, happiness and peace within ourselves? What if we put our attention on our own divine perfection? Wouldn't that change our story? What would fill our vision then?

Well, of course our vision would be filled with love, peace and self-worth. We would feel empowered and able to accomplish anything we set out to do. We would attract that same love into our lives and be surrounded by loving, peaceful people, save the few odd negative people that may enter into our lives. But when we are feeling that peace and love, even those negative people would not be able to disrupt our feeling of peace.

Living in lack makes us desperate – always searching for what will change the feeling to one of abundance. Look within. Do you feel anything but abundance and love? In this ageless, timeless, limitless place within, is there any room for lack of anything?

The place within that knows the truth of who you are is what you want to focus on. Fill your vision with those loving thoughts and prayers for those who do not know way to their loving heart.

Love's Embrace

Love dances on the edge of dawn
On gentle morning breezes
And lights upon my heart so still
To tempt me as it pleases

No ray of sun could be so warm
As love’s sweet breath on me
And I am safe in its embrace
For all eternity.

Bettina Goodwin

Give yourself the gift of love and let go of the idea that you are lacking in any way. You are a perfect and divine manifestation of all that is, experiencing life from every different aspect. Enjoy the aspect you have chosen to experience and allow yourself to know that there is abundance in the choices you make.

Take a look this week at any time when you may feel lack, or the desire for something that you think will make you happy. Explore within you where this lack comes from – what belief is driving this feeling of lack to the foreground. Allow yourself to shift the belief and change your focus to one of abundance. Enjoy the fruits of this new belief!

Have a wonderful abundant week ahead!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Going With the Flow

2009-08-26T14:04:00.005-04:00

The flow of life or the universe is constantly moving, changing and creating experiences for us. Oftentimes we resist what is being put before us. We fight what we see or what we are experiencing because it does not align with our beliefs.

This is the perfect time to take a look at our beliefs and question how valid they are. Beliefs that we think may have been working for us may no longer be of use to us or we may find that we do not derive any happiness or peace from holding on to it.

That resistance to the flow of life is a signpost to tell us to look inside at what needs to be re-evaluated, changed, updated or even dropped from our belief system. Absolute honesty with what we are feeling and thinking will lead us to the belief that needs to be released.

Releasing the negative emotions that keep us in a place of struggle and suffering can free us to once again go with the flow.

What happens if you are floating along just fine, going with the flow and someone says something to you that triggers a negative response in you? What do you do? Do you stay in that place of struggle, feeling heavy and sometimes even ill? Or do you look at the negative response and see where it came from – what was fueling it, keeping it alive inside?

The longer we avoid looking at these negative feelings and thoughts, the more we feel the struggle and the less we are able to allow the flow of life to carry us forward.

Take each opportunity when life does not seem to be flowing and use it to go deeper within yourself to that absolute feeling of peace, happiness and love that keeps us in the flow.

Take a look this week as you experience life. Try to be aware of times when you don't feel things flowing as you'd like. Allow your feelings and thoughts to show you the beliefs that need to be reviewed and perhaps even released or changed. Feel the freedom of releasing what no longer works as you rejoin the flow of life.

Have a wonderful week going with the flow!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Handling Conflict

2009-08-13T14:41:00.002-04:00

Often we are faced with conflict in our daily lives, sometimes with family members, friends, co-workers, our boss or any number of strangers we come across day to day.

This is a normal part of our human existence. We will always be faced with some conflict at different points in our lives. It is not whether we have conflict or not that makes us a more conscious being. It is HOW we handle the conflict.

Some of us hold all our anger inside and take a more passive/aggressive role in a relationship where conflict exists. Others will direct all the anger that comes up in them at the other person. And there are arguments for each of these methods of dealing with our emotions in times when things are not flowing.

In the first instance, we try to control our anger and keep it inside so as to avoid conflict. But we can only hold it in for so long. One day, someone says something to us that hits a nerve and we “lose it”, ranting and raving and carrying on letting all the anger that has been boiling up inside of us out. There is no feeling of peace either during of after this type of outburst. It is a very negative response to a negative emotion.

In the second example, constantly taking out our anger on others is unhealthy. Again, there is no feeling of peace during or after this type of behaviour. Constantly sending negative energy toward someone else is not a peaceful and loving thing to do. It causes pain and suffering not only for the receiver of the anger but for the sender as well.

How can we make sure that we don’t take our anger out on someone else or shove it away inside to fester and grow?

If we can be aware each and every day how we are feeling about the experiences we have, we can acknowledge the anger and understand where it is coming from. Usually a belief has created this reaction. Being able to be conscious of this, we can shift the belief, release the anger that has been building inside, reconnect to the peace within and then handle conflict with an open loving heart.

This creates a safe place for both parties to talk and explore ways in which the conflict can be resolved with blame, judgment or criticism.

Be willing to look at your anger. Even minor irritations are coming from that same anger within. Use the smaller bouts of anger arising to look deeper into the source of it. Shift your beliefs and in doing so, create more loving and peaceful relationships with other people in our lives.

If we can resolve the conflict within, we can then resolve the conflict with others.

Have a wonderful, peaceful and loving week!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Giving Others the Opportunity To Follow Their Own Path

2009-08-04T16:59:00.002-04:00

Often when we start on this journey of self-discovery and awareness we enter into a period of excitement where we are so pleased with our own progress we want to tell the world of this great new way of being.

In our excitement we can go a little too far in applying what we've learned to every situation and every person we meet and we tend to become a bit "preachy" about it all. We can be especially hard on those closest to us – our family, partner, friends.

This can be very upsetting to other people. It's never fun to be constantly told by someone else how we can change this thing and that thing about ourselves. It can cause feelings needing to be fixed and not being good enough. And it can alienate others as well.

One thing to remember is that our journey is just that – our journey. We have chosen to take a path to awareness, living more consciously in this life. Others may not be ready to make this choice and our constant reminder of it may even send them running for the hills to get as far away from it as they can.

Allowing others to be whatever and whoever they are in this moment, is also a part of living consciously in the present. We are all perfect beings – there is nothing to be fixed, especially by someone else.

Yes, we sometimes behave inappropriately or make unhealthy choices for ourselves, but it is our responsibility to look at the behaviour and change whatever belief caused it to be. And this is the same for everyone else as well. It is their responsibility to look at their own pain and find their way to healing it if that is what they desire.

As part of our own journey we can take the experiences with others and look at how it affects us. If we are struggling with how someone else is behaving, we can use the opportunity to heal the pain that we feel and release the beliefs that create this pain so that we can be more accepting of ourselves and of others.

When we once again find ourselves in that peaceful, loving place, we can then accept each individual for who they are and have compassion for those who are struggling.

Allowing ourselves to relax into the peaceful awareness that comes from within can help us to be aware of when we are tempted to “preach” the benefits of enlightenment to another person.

Know that this journey is solely for you, it is your experience and your lessons. Someone else's behaviour or choices in life do not change what you are here to learn.

Have a look at times when you may be tempted to push your ideas on someone else. What feeling are you looking for from this action? How do you want it to make you feel? Will a change in the other person’s perspective really give you what you are looking for? Total honesty with yourself will show you the truth in the experience.

Have a wonderful week of basking in your own awareness, being conscious of each moment and each experience.

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit my website at www.thesoulconnection.ca

Emotional Detox

2009-07-13T12:56:00.003-04:00

We hear a lot about physical detoxification products, detoxing our bodies of all the toxins that we have taken in during our lifetime and how it can lead to a more healthy life. But we don't hear as often about emotional detoxing.

Physical detoxification can rid us of all the things that cause our bodies to feel unhealthy, so that we can be more active, have more energy and live longer. Emotional detoxification is not much different except that helps us to live more connected to our peace and love within so that we can enjoy relationships, work, children and life in general to the fullest.

There are many instances where emotional distress can lead us to feel unhealthy physically as well and there have been many studies that have proven that there is a connection between emotional and physical health. This is just another one of the benefits of emotional detox.

What exactly does it mean to detox emotionally? We have many different emotions that arise in our day to day lives. Being aware of what is arising is the first key. What is the emotion that we feel or the thought to which we are attaching our attention. Once we acknowledge these emotions and thoughts we can release the emotions, let go of the thoughts and shift or expel the belief that has created them.

Crying is good for the soul. We often hold back when we feel tears welling up in us. Or we push away our feelings of anger when we are in a volatile situation. But suppressing these emotions and not allowing ourselves to feel them fully in a healthy way, two things happen. The emotions get bottled up so tight and we become so full of them that one day, sometimes even at the slightest little incident, they burst forth and we let someone have it all. The other thing that happens is they bury our peace and love so deep that we can no longer feel the connection to it. We put ourselves in an emotional prison.

Allowing ourselves to release these emotions in a private setting and at a time when we feel safe to do so, can help to see deep within ourselves and connect once again to our own peace and love within. This is emotional freedom. This allows our lives to flow gently along once again so that we feel lighter, happier and more compassionate in all our relationships.

Try to be aware this week as you go through your days, of what you are feeling and what thoughts you grab hold of as important. Find time to allow yourself to fully feel the emotions that are arising, question the thoughts you are attached to and let go of any beliefs that are rooted beneath either of these. Feel how much lighter you feel after your release and how much easier it is to communicate with others from this more peaceful place.

Have a great week of release!

If you are interested in our weekly meetings, one-on-one coaching sessions, Reiki, hypnotherapy, or workshops, please visit www.thesoulconnection.ca

What's So Bad About Feeling Our Pain?

2009-06-26T11:54:00.002-04:00

We spend most of our lives avoiding feeling our pain. We think that pushing it aside and finding distractions that take us away from the pain will make us feel better. It will for a while, but what happens when one day, someone says some small thing to us and we explode in a rage at them for virtually no reason at all. Where does it come from? One moment we were feeling happy and carefree and the next we were feeling so much anger we couldn’t stop ourselves.

All the suppressed emotions that we push aside all our lives stay locked up inside us until one day we can't suppress them any longer and out they come when we least expect it. Or we start to have panic attacks and wonder where they have come from. If we think of all the fear that has been pushed away for a lot of our lives, we will see clearly why we may suffer from anxiety or panic attacks.

How do we find our way out of this circle of emotions? It is very important to be aware of what emotions and thoughts are arising in any situation. We know when we are comfortable or uncomfortable. We often talk ourselves out of looking at the negative emotions we feel because it is uncomfortable to do so. But it is only uncomfortable because we don't like to look at the part of ourselves that is less than perfect. When we are young we learn to judge our emotions and thoughts and hide the ones that are deemed unacceptable.

We learn that being angry makes us bad boys or girls. And so when a feeling of anger arises we push it away because we are afraid that others will see it and consider us bad.

When we are afraid and mention it to another person what is usually the first thing they say? "Don’t be afraid." They are trying to be helpful but if we suppress the fear it will cause us suffering on a daily basis, even when we don’t realize it is.

If we allow ourselves to acknowledge the thoughts and emotions as they arise, be aware of what is coming up, when we are uncomfortable in a situation, we can let go of the negative emotions and beliefs that cause them to arise.

We cannot grow within ourselves and connect to our love and peace within if we don't look at the yucky stuff first. Once we clear the negative beliefs, we can then clearly see and feel the connection to the peace we've always searched for in our lives. So feeling our pain fully and allowing it time to come up, can actually help us to feel better more often and at a deeper level than if we are constantly suppressing our emotions.

This week, take a look at when you feel uncomfortable in a situation. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise, without judgment and with compassion for yourself. Be aware of what belief is behind this emotion (or thought) and question how valid it is in your life now. If it is no longer serving you, let it go and feel the peace within you as you free yourself of the heaviness of your negative belief.

Have a wonderful week of feeling!

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit our website at http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

Ego - Friend or Foe

2009-06-12T14:58:00.003-04:00

We should probably begin by explaining what the ego is. Ego is all the thoughts that are constantly moving through us, a non-stop stream, positive and negative. Consciousness is what is observing these thoughts. And our belief system is what tells us whether to believe the thoughts or not.

We watch our thoughts as they enter our consciousness. Some just pass by unnoticed and we do not hook onto them, and yet we grab onto others and dwell on them until we have driven ourselves to a state of misery, unhappiness and loneliness. This happens because our beliefs tell us that the thoughts are true. We identify with the thoughts, thinking that they are who we are. This is a mistaken belief because we cannot be what we hear or observe. If we are observing something, we cannot be it. This means we are not our ego.

There are many different teachings that tell us that we need to control or completely destroy the ego. This is not really the case. We can exist in harmony with the ego by being aware of the thoughts as they arise, paying attention to when we start believing the negative thoughts and examining the beliefs that cause us to attach ourselves to this negativity.

By accepting the ego for what it is, that is something other than who we are, we can allow it to continue creating the thoughts without acknowledging them as truth. When we stop listening to the ego, we then notice it less and less and it’s voice becomes quieter.

When the ego tells us we are not good enough, or we are not worthy, unlovable, a bad person, we have the choice to either agree or disagree. What choice will we make? The ego will show us where it wants us to go and then when we do listen to it and follow, it tells us to go the other way. It is never satisfied with what is.

From our awareness we can connect to the peace within that knows the ego is not necessary for us to live a full and happy life.

When we begin to look at our beliefs and let go of the beliefs that no longer benefit us or serve us well, we can allow the ego to continue without allowing it to bring us to our suffering.

The ego can be the judge, jury and executioner if we allow it to rule us. But when we let go of our need to identify with it, we can let go of suffering and choose peace.

This week be aware of your thoughts as they are continuously moving through you. Pay attention to those which you hold on to and believe. Figure out what belief the thoughts are attached to and let go of any beliefs that no longer serve you, or that keep you from feeling the peace and love within.

Have a wonderful week living in harmony with ego.

If you are interested in our weekly Spiritual Group Meetings or private one-on-one sessions please visit our website at http://www.thesoulconnection.ca

Balance - Masculine and Feminine Energy

2009-06-04T11:56:00.002-04:00

When we are born into our physical bodies they hold certain characteristics and aspects that are either male or female. This is what we are born with, however anything else that we relate to being masculine or feminine comes from what we learn from our parents or society as we are growing up. These are all based on belief systems. Ideas such as "girls play with dolls and boys play with trucks", or "women are more nurturing and men are more aggressive and protective".

We are not born with these ideas. In fact, by the time we are 2 1/2 we have decided which beliefs will work for us by observing how our parents behave. As we go through life all other observations or experiences are merely reinforcements of those beliefs.

Masculine and feminine energy is not connected to our physical attributes however. Our belief system is where our levels of each of these energies are developed. One aspect of this way of living is that we are looking outside of ourselves for love, happiness, peace and self-worth. Another aspect is that we look for the best ways for ourselves to get these things so if we have watched our father be aggressive, loud, angry and controlling and get what he wanted, we may decide that this will work for us as well. We grow up believing that in order to get what we want (usually we think it is a person or situation but it is the emotion behind these that we really want) we must be controlling, angry, aggressive etc.

In cases like this we have more masculine energy than feminine energy. As an example, someone who bullies has too much masculine energy.

On the other hand if we watch our mother giving all the time, being subservient, nurturing everyone else, or retreating to get what she wants, we may find that this is what will work for us. So we become like our mother. We are soft and pliable, give in to keep peace, nurture everyone else, give all the time but not able to receive. In this case we would have more feminine energy than masculine.

An example of this would be someone who often finds themselves in the victim role.

(It is important to note that for either of these examples it could be the mother or the father having either too much masculine or feminine energy. It is not gender specific.)

When we begin to clear all the beliefs that we have gathered and taken on as our own throughout our lives, we find a sense of peace and tranquility. We begin to know that the love, peace, happiness and joy all can be found within. We no longer need to find it out in the world.

And when this begins to happen we no longer have a need to use aggression or passiveness to get the love we desire. We feel our own self-worth and the love that we are worthy of.

It is at this point when our masculine and feminine energy become more balanced. The aggression is softened by the more nurturing feminine energy.

Whereas in the past our voice would be filled with aggression, anger, control, self-righteousness, dismissiveness, when we do the inner work our voice in the world can then be brought forth from a place of peace inside, one that is filled with strength, wisdom, compassion and love.

And as a result of this newfound peace and a voice without need, we will inspire others to find that same peace within themselves. We can deflect and shift an angry outburst, creating a safe place for others to speak their truth from a loving heart.

This week pay attention to your experiences and note when you are feeling a surge of masculine energy. Try to look at the belief that is feeding this energy and let go of what no longer works. Be aware of when you are backing down in a situation because you are afraid to speak up for yourself, thus having too much feminine energy. Look at the belief that this is connected to and let go of what doesn't work. Feel yourself at peace as you bring your feminine and masculine energy into balance. Live from this place of balance.

Have a wonderfully balanced week!